Whoop dee doo. Seriously. For the first time, I decided to go in search of some blog directory and see what I can do to reach the 1,000 hit milestone. I'm prone to being ahead of myself. So, I looked and was surprised to see that my 480 hits is much more respectable than I'd thought. Sadly, much of the blogs that have meteoric traffic are celebrity oriented. I like the gossip too but I can't imagine constructing a blog with that in mind. If I say, say... justin timberlake is back with britney... then I have a better chance. Or if I say that Rachel ray is gay and having a three way with Oprah and Gayle then I can virtually bet on all kinds of folks sniffing around my blog in search of this info. I think, though, that you have to do something with search engines and make the words show up somewhere where gossip hungry blog readers can find you. I am almost sure I have that adult adhd and so to figure all this out is postponable. As it is, I must steel and then brace and then steel myself once more to just sit still and write this nonsense. I don't say that with winning self deprecation, I say that from the bottom of my heart.
Anyways, the serial killing has been restricted as per. I was partiluarly harsh with my toasted oats but that is as far as it's gone. How harsh was I? I used a fork on the toasted oats ,instead of a spoon. That's how harsh I was.
Cereal killer jokes are for amateurs. I know. But, when one's bloodlust is contained and constricted into strictly legal maneuverings, one must find outlets where they must. The body can only house so much bile.
It looks like muffins are not really on a crest of any zeitgeist and that I'd prophecied all wrong. I hate to say it but .... Molly was right. If you remember, I'd taken a mocking tone about her when I said that she thinks it needs to be a hybrid of a muffin and a scone. She went as far as to name it a muscone. I tut tutted and poo poohed(publicly!?) and now I've been served my upteenth slice of humble pie. Shovel it in, abbey. You're accustomed to the taste.
How do we know that molly's muscone idea is where the money, fame,and recognition is at? Well, Molly's daughter works for a focus group facility in Torrance and they presented both our ideas to a focus group last week. What a bunch of heffers and malcontents. There was a two way mirror and I could see them stealing sodas and sandwiches when they thought no one was looking. Oh, blog readers, it is so nice to tell you of my troubles. I am getting overheated just thinking how exciting it will be to tell you about this focus group experience. I get so so excited that my pupils enlarge and my hands can barely stay on the keyboard. To relay the horrid experience to my burgeoning readership is almost too fun to bear. And, bear, I cannot. So, I'm going to take an aspirin, a glucosamine chondrite msm pill, and I will return when I can show the slightest semblence of objectivity( or sanity, for that matter. ) I will be back and so I hope will you my taters.
P.S. I see that I promised more delmont if my blog hits 450. I didn't anticipate that would happen so quickly. So, basically, I am breaking a promise to you. Sorry. I am now promising to post the rest when I hit 500 hits. Delmont is dead and you are hardly beating down my door so I don't feel that guilty about this particular broken promise.
11 comments:
I need a summer gig and live in Torrance. How can I get in on these focus groups? Milling about with fellow Torrance malcontents in an air conditioned room, having people asking for - and then forced to listen to - my opinions, getting free food and drinks, and then being paid for all of it is like a dream come true to me.
Hi there anonymous. I agree it is dreamy work. I wouldn't call it a gig because it's all so random. I think that will be the topic of my blog today. I will discuss the randomness of focus groups etc. How did you find my blog? Comment back and I will try my best to give you some tips to get into focus groups.
I came across your blog from the l.a. lezzie thread on l-anon. I don't know about all the strange things going on there, and just take whatever tidbits of information and exchange I find there that interest me. This blog and that thread are kind of surreal and scary, to be honest. Though I am sure I have nothing to fear. Even though I am writing to someone who professes to be a serial killer. Actually, it does kind of scare me.
Though not so much that I don't want to add that I do have experience in the food industry (if that can help get me into the rarefied world of south bay food-related focus groups).
Hello anonymous from l.a lezzie thread!:
No no no. Do not mention your food service. The trick is that you have a job that doesn't eliminate you. If they ask you if you were for any industry, say no. Unless they actively are seeking food service workers. and, that is very very rare.
As for your fear issue: what do I say? There's the truth of the matter and there's your take on the matter and it's your call on whether you should fight the fear or not. Either way, I'll have my muffin enterprise and my autistic spawn, and my crowded crawl space to keep me busy.
And being busy is paramount. Underschedule nowadays and you'll be seen as a pariah. Contemplation is for losers etc.
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