put your twitter in your shi#&*(

For fucks sake, I'm being invited to join twitter by someone I don't think I know. Why would I join this twitter? I haven't been able to rationilize joining myspace or facebook and now twitter is here! Twitter? I looked at it and I can't see it offering me anything of any substance.
Can a handbasket handle all this hell? Can I hear a collective NO. NO to nightclubs with velvet ropes(though I get in!) NO to any lines where a meathead says yay or nay. NO to more yogurt shops will names that only serve to confuse. NO to the apathy of there being a homeless person for every street in L.A(it seems) No to manequins with stuffed bikini breifs. NO to bitches and bastards getting away with it. NO to advertisements on busses that can't be avoided. NO to billboards, also leaves us without choice to ignore. NO to Sad attempts to pretend are coffee is grande or tall or venti. NO to coffee houses without any hope of "cafe society." No to stale scones. Well, that's silly, but I'm sure it's a problem.

Obviously this is rant and Gustave(the name of the King of Sweden Btw) might or might not terrorize some fine people who will suffer and suffer. I knew Hurrican Fay would be a non-event. The king and queen of hurricanes need names such as Gustave and Katrina. Fay, Seth, or Tiffany,I'd bet, will never get above category 2.

Tila Tequila had a million or more My space friends. Need I say more? 30 plus year olds are trudging to twitter when their facebook "friends." suggest they do so. I really feel the world has gotten very lame when I see gray hairs falling in step with this idiocy.

Saw a CNN special on Obama and it confirmed my immediate and lasting impressions of him-- An egotist who could care very little about his fellow man. I can't help but think I'm quicker than most because I figured out that Tyra Banks was wicked from day one of her next failed model show. The people on TWOP took seasons to come to the same conclusion. Obama is no Tyra but I feel sure that it will just take many longer to come around to this fake.

I sense that Michelle Obama doesn't enjoy any of this and resents his ego engorgement.


What else? I predict that Tina Fey will play this v.p pick Palin on S.N.L, and that it won't be funny. Palin sounds like Jiminy Glick's wife, Daisy. Whatever happened to Jan Hooks? Probably producing an episode of "Third watch" or whetever the hell they produce after the fame dissapears.

Labor day-- must arrange labor day events and do fitting labor day things which I think is making a barbecue or ending up on some beach somewhere. I think wings and jalapeno poppers should be served at some point to a bevy of revelers. I'm not sure.
Maybe fried zuccini and potato skins with fixins are more appropriate. Or is that for the fourth of July? Oh, these specialized mondays are stressing me out. On Veterans day I made a spinach dip and it felt all wrong.

Either way, I plan to live well, always make appetizers, and get the best revenge. Is that the quote?

I've done my bit to foment a revolution today. And you?

porno yogurtberry toga and manequins and justice

I'm trying to stay current and I've put some meta bullshit code but it doesn't work. Tags and widgets will be the end of civilization. I'm trying to link something and I just wasn't born to know this shit. But, I was born and so I'll try. Anyhow, dear readers, I see you've left in droves. So be it. I'm fine. Much to tell. Too much. I've been out and about making friends and... enemies. Jeez, what is up with these awful women who are supposedly doing comedy? Well, both of them are as dumb as a box of rocks-- as dumb as retarded box of rocks if you ask me. Time is flailing by and truth is emerging and hopefully all the hope I have that life makes any sense will not be for naught or whateva. What a year. It seems okay to say retarded lately. in my day, it wasn't. I figure all it's because we don't see retarded people around much anymore because they are either home schooled or on retarded.com. I'm not being mean or even kidding. I think this is true.
I've decided to completely drop my serial killer persona for the time being as it is not bringing the desired "traffic." I've taken my manifiestos and ravings to the stage as of late and that seems a wise choice. Sorry, Bloggy. I just am not that into you. I am a vertitable goldmine of jokes and entertainmentism. I await the day, that hovers near, where it all comes together.
Anyhow, Oprah's pick is going to be our president. I can't be bothered anymore or at least not for today. His parents died too young and his wife is a bit hard on the eyes and I'm not going to begrudge his undeservingness today.
Corey Haim is a lovely boy and must get away from that awful Feldman and his wretched wife.

Corey Haim,
If you are reading my blog:

You are a lovely boy with much hope. Ignore all these awful people who are trying to elevate themselves by devaluing you. I would say call me, but I hate the phone since it causes me skin problems.

Best,
Abbey.

The muffin business is doing well. The cupcake craze is waning and the frozen yogurt frenzy is faltering and the american public needs another very uncomplicated comfort food. Enter-- muffins. And tea. Tea is riding coffees ass. Coffee bean and tea leaf will soon be tea leaf and coffee bean. you read it here first. Crispy Cremes looks on with envy as folks realize that effusiviness over donuts is unseemly. I foresee that in a few years that muffins too will lose their favor and maybe small bundt cakes will take their place. I don't know. I'm not that sharp today and can't think of many small uncomplicated pastries that will take off.

On santa monica blvd there are many manequins. And, I am not talking about the human ones. I'm talking about the headless, often limbless manequins that are created to give some idea how a peice of clothes might look . I really want to get into these manequins and how i've come to despise them but I am being called away and so I'll just leave you with the fact that right near a store with these manequins on santa monica blvd there is a storefront with a woman who is in a porny but clothed stance and there is an advertisement that says u pump ur own yogurt. Or something like that. And she seems asian from the graphic and she is pumping yogurt. WTF. Can someone tell me what that's about. I'm on the run and will be back when I can.