a shanti take the wheel etc.

My mother is so damned cute that it hurts and she looks to me as dear as a baby and yet she drives and cleans and cooks and therefore is an excellent elderly baby.

I call her all kinds of names all the time.

Yesterday I said, "What was that you said, sweet dwarf?"

Pause...

And then I hear from the couch in a very droll tone, " Don't you think calling your mother ... a sweet whore is.... excessive?"
And, I'm like, "Mommy! I called you a sweet dwarf not a sweet whore!"
She looked relieved but me calling her even a sweet whore wouldn't have been a problem.

She says quote worthy things all day but I plan to start webcamming her the minute I find my webcam. I think my sister threw it out. She often throws things away that should not be thrown out. She has thrown away the remote control by accident, on more than one occaission, and she often just throws away things like my contact case and she seems to have no recollection of doing so. I think she does it so every one insists she not tidy up when she makes that offer(mostly when the moon is blue).
She is a menace, but I love her. We've literally said "you're dead to me" on average 6 times a year for the last 4 or less decades and it that hasn't happened by now it never will. We were talking the other day how we should have maybe even gone to college together-- we just have done 89 percent of everything together since I was born. We just clicked almost immediately. My mother remembers being petrifired of my sisters wrath when she saw a baby(me) brought home and my mother says that she checked me out and seemed sort of satisfied with me ever since. Whatever. This Lisa Ling reunion with her sister got me getting all misty. I can tell that Lisa Ling and her sister are sibling people. I've come to be able to tell mamas boys, mamas girls, close to their sibling types from eachother.

We've been together now 4 decades and I can say i've been enraged by her and agonized by her, felt betrayed and even existentially destroyed by her, but never bored and I can say that too only about my mother-- and that seems unusual, I guess, but that is how it is. From the time I was about 4 I remember we'd have about ten different games a year we'd invent to keep eachother entertained. Once a character is gone there gone but one always takes their place. We had "trousers" who came out during not to bad fights and stopped them dead in their tracks, and the person who tricks her by pretending it's wounded in all sorts of wierd ways(thumb tack throw at her from a car etc) and is really just tricking her(my sister) into a hug and kiss. Then, we had the masseuse called applesauce, and the stalker and it goes on. Now we have Enid and every night when feasible she screams " Tuck me in" in this odd voice and my sister comes a running like some cuckhold and it's so funny because my sister is the frigging opposite of being a cuckhold( is there is such a thing as a sister cuckhold and not a husband)She tucks Enid in dutifully and kisses her once square on the head. It never varies. Oh and yes the little Indian who was tiny(about 2 feet tall and stocky in the legs) and he wore only a thong and carried a bow and he was often seen around the building by us and it was scary.

And, that is why my friends they are called, "private jokes" and should not but are being shared with all ONE of you. Yuck. I'm not blind I see that the comments are gone and that Julie Chen and the rest have gone to Twitter.EYEVONNE must have been a cruel hoaxster and PAZ has long felt betrayed by my unpredictable absences.
I wasn't born August 5, 2009 or in other words... YESTERDAY ...and I get that this blog would be on its last leg if blogs had legs. I get that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh shanti, take the wheel!

(repeat 2 times)