Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Scott Boxenbaum( Friend of Nick Kroll and one of the most gross creatures to disgrace the earth) still hasn't retired from comedy. What a shame



the worst case of cleavage I've ever seen! Ladies and Gentlman, serial slanderer and sadsack comedy groupie, Jazz
 Ponce.


The now dead, Harris Wittels. In the course of telling my story, chronologically, I had to look for the Thomas Sharpe article and how he was never Tig Notaro's roommate. In that same file, I had copied all the incredibly nauseating defamation of Scott Boxenbaum, Jazz Ponce, and Harris Wittels(rot in hell - RIT)  Back then I didn't know why these people were going so out of their way to destroy my comedy career. I mean they were posting my picture and telling anyone that if they saw me, they should "shun and ban" me. They told thousands of people, on that board, that I was a pathetic stalker who stalks tons of comics. This is so far from any truth and they didn't to curry favor with nick kroll. That there is plain evil. 
scott boxenbaum's and nick kroll's moms at a function. Boxenbaums father is an influential millionaire who donates a a lot of money to police charities etc. No wonder his name kept coming up at trial, apropos of nothing. 



This is the kind of talentless buffoon Nick Kroll send around to tell everyone possilbe that I am the "town weirdo" and to "shun and ban me" on sight. repost.Thursday, April 4, 2013

Scott Boxenbaum and other stupid wastes of time and space- not stage funny or off stage funny. The only funny thing about Scott Boxenbaum might be his smell, but luckily I never was that close

Again, I am alert that I am wasting time on vicious scum like Scott Boxenbaum. Alas, I think and type quickly so sometimes it takes me less than a minute. This can be evidenced in the terrible typos I then see months later. It just feels semi essential to discuss the pus that is Scott Boxenbaum, at this moment.

This freak went on the  special Thing Message boards to incite strangers to shun and ban me from any comedy venue by telling them vile character asassinating lies. This POS told anyone and everyone that I am the "town weirdo." Considering the truth, that is obscene. He did so only because he is a desperate and dishonest sack of crap that hoped to gain some advantage off his better's misfortune.

Now, Scott Boxenbaum, has admitted that he's a no talent doofus, who based his whole non-career on one false compliment. It would be merely pathetic if this waste of space wasn't able to cause such misery  as he sought to ruin the lives and careers of the truly talented.
 He was a stranger to me, and he was forty five years old at that time. Way past high school. His father is a multi millionaire and so he doesn't have an impoverished childhood as a mitigating factor. No excuse could be sufficient to explain his vicious and psychopathic choices. He is a dark and evil POS, that is for sure. 

(Update- Nick Kroll had to have told him to do this. And,desperate Scott saw opportunity in my case)
 Before he did what he would do to me, I had seen him bomb a few times, on stage, and I had felt pity for him since he seemed antisocial and stupid. But, otherwise, he was an abject stranger. Funnily, I had felt compassion for both him and Jackie Kashian, as I watched audiences express disdain for them. I didn't make my pity known to them so it's not as if they had any reason to then lie and slander me. What a waste of compassion that was.


Chronicles of A Just-Okay Comedian - By Scott Boxenbaum. Originally Posted on his website.       


Note to Scott Boxenbaum- You are not an OK comedian. You are 

I’m finishing out my 6th year in stand-up comedy, enough time for me to stop and take a self-assessment break. This is important, as what we do is often fueled by equal parts creativity, ego, and self-delusion. Now, these things aren’t actually bad in reasonable amounts, especially when it comes to giving yourself the balls to tackle as difficult an art form as stand-up. But at some point, any comic with an iota of self-awareness should perhaps take stock of where he or she is.
For me, 2012 has been a rude awakening, both emotionally and artistically speaking. To preface, I started stand-up for possibly the worst of reasons: I was on an internet date with a woman in the business who told me that I was funny, and that I should do stand-up (rule #1: never listen to anyone who blows smoke up your ass, simply because they want to have sex with you). And yes, this is a true story. Strangely, I came to love this odd thing we do. Though I sometimes think my raison d’etre for being a stand-up is actually funnier than my act.
For the last six years or so, I’ve labored away quietly at open mics and booked shows, performing in every room you can imagine (I actually once did stand-up in a closet). And after some self-assessment, I’ve come to these conclusions: I’m an extremely hard worker. I’m a decent writer. And…
I’M NOT AS FUNNY AS I THINK I AM.
Earth-shattering? Not particularly. Remember the word “delusional”? Exactly. I’m pretty sure many people don’t think I’m as funny as I think I am. Talk to my colleagues, who awkwardly mouth “good set” when I eat it at an open mic (sometimes, I hate L.A. comics- just give it to me straight, dickhead). Talk to the bookers who write back “yeah, you’re on the list” when I send them a polite booking request. Talk to the Montreal showcase people. Actually, don’t talk to the Montreal showcase people. The funny part is, I don’t blame any of them. No one HAS TO book me. No one HAS TO laugh at my jokes. Nobody has an obligation to anyone in this business.
This year was both tough and inspiring for me. I watched a lot of my peers pass me by, both artistically and career-wise. Some of these people are wonderful, and deserve whatever good fortune comes to them. Others, you watch and just say to yourself “really? Why you?”. And while it’s painful to see the latter succeed, while I stay where I am, it’s also freeing to let go of my silly, petty jealousy. Hey, good for them. Besides, I’m sure people have felt and said the same things about me. This business is random, weird, and unfair. If I don’t like it, I can leave. Also, there’s probably a good reason why I’m not moving forward…
I’M NOT AS FUNNY AS I THINK I AM.
Okay, but enough about you… as a comedian, I’ve improved a lot this year- mainly by being more accepting of my own failure (failure is your friend, right?), improved writing, and better stage presence. But I’m not 1/20th of where I want to be. Some of this comes down to experience, learning, and gradual improvement. But a lot of it comes down to my chronic performance/social anxiety (I’ve combined these two, for the sake of convenience). For years, I’ve tried to mask it, push it away, re-frame it, meditate it away, and be in denial of it. But denying something doesn’t nullify its existence.
For me, anxiety is a comedy killer. It makes me deliver material like a phumphering robot. Jokes that should hit fizzle, or get much less of a laugh. And I sometimes am so detached on stage that the audience never gets a chance to like or care about me. Off-stage, my social anxiety often limits my social exchanges with other comedians to questions: “Hey, how are you?”. “Hey, how is your day?”. ”Pretty long wait at the open mic, ha?”. Terrific. So basically, I’m HAL 9000 with a dick. Asking a bunch of questions isn’t conversation, it’s polite interrogation. Many of my peers probably don’t know that I’m socially anxious. They just see me as kind of nice, a little boring, and hard to get to know. Anxiety pervades even my stand-up writing. Out of fear, I censor myself and freeze up when I try to write punchlines. Open mics become terrifying auditions. Also…
I’M NOT AS FUNNY AS I THINK I AM.
As of late, I’ve pondered other, less encouraging notions: Perhaps I’m not built for this. Maybe I’m just not “stage funny”, and I’m forcing myself to do something I wasn’t meant to do. In the next few months, I’m going to see where all this pondering and navel-gazing takes me. Perhaps I’ll overcome my own personal obstacles. Or, maybe I won’t, and move on to other things. Believe me, there’s no shame in doing something else. Someone once told me, “go where the green lights take you”. Right now, as a stand-up, I’m sitting in traffic, waiting for the light to change.
And yes, I sound like a bit of a sad sack. But life is too short and precious to be dishonest to one’s self. Unfortunately, you get to read my hand-wringing. Hey, if you don’t like it, feel free to scroll down to the Gif of Clint Eastwood with the Photoshopped orangoutang just below this blog. It’s pretty cool, actually



Did Alisa Spitzberg really ever harass, stalk or even bother Notaro? Did Lauren ever harass Notaro?

Is Notaro a liar who has lied under oath and under penalty of perjury?


Notaro’s statement to LAPD- as to the August 29, 2007 “incident.
In September 2007 - Spitzberg arrived at the coffee shop and confronted Willen and Notaro. Willen ignored Spitzberg and walked out of the shop with Notaro. Spitzberg stepped in front of Willen and said, “You trying to avoid me.” Willen ignored Spitzberg who then pushed Notaro.

Notaro and Willen left without reporting the incident.

Notaro statement to Spector –investigator for Public Defender
While sitting together and waiting at tsunamis café late one night for this deaf landlord to show up Notaro said that Alisa all of a sudden and surprisingly walked in. Notaro stated that Alisa immediately walked up to their table and “accused” them meaning herself and Willen of being together. Notaro stated Alisa then began yelling and cussing at the two of them. Notaro said is was very much a verbal tirade against the two of them. While Alisa continued yelling at both of them Notaro said a mini bottle of vodka fell out of one. of Spitzberg’s jacket pockets. At one point while all of this was going on Notaro said she then stood up and she was now standing right next to Alisa.

After standing up, Notaro stated that Alisa then Shoved her with both her hands, as well as she next said, “ are you Steph’s keeper.”
After that had occurred Notaro advised that both she and Willen then left this coffee shop, due to the fact they didn’t want any more violence to occur on Alisa’s part. As they quickly walked out of this coffee shop, Notaro said that Alisa continued to follow them out of this location on foot.
Sworn affidavit of Mathilde Notaro- as to the August 29, 2007 “incident.
In late August of 2007, I accompanied my friend Stephanie to the Tsunami Café in Silverlake, CA. Alisa Spitzberg approached us at our table and aggressively yelled insults at the two of us, including, “fucking dyke,.” “ugly.” “cunt,” “bitch.” Etc.
We ignored her and went outside, but she followed us and became angrier and more belilligerent. As I motioned for Stephanie to gather her belongings to leave, Alisa came closer and pushed me.





Court testimony of notaro describing August 29,2007

LANDLORD AT SUNAMI CAFE."  AND IT WAS MAYBE 8:00  O'CLOCK AT NIGHT.
   AND I SAID:  "THAT DOESN'T MAKE
SENSE.  IT DOES NOT SOUND SAFE."
“SO I HAD COFFEE WITH STEF, AND ALISA WALKED IN. AND WHEN SHE SAW US SITTING TOGETHER, SHE SAID -- SHE SAT DOWN AND WAS LIKE: 
OH ARE YOU GUYS BACK TOGETHER?AND WE WERE JUST IGNORING HER.  SHE WAS VERY AGGRESSIVE, AND VERY JUST PERSISTENT AND GOT IN OUR SPACE WE IGNORED HER.  AND THEN A BOTTLE OF VODKA FELL OUT OF HER PURSE, AND SHE PUT IT BACK IN HER PURSE, AND SHE KEPT  SAYING:  "YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT TOGETHER.  THIS IS GREAT," AND, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER. SHE SAID:  "ARE YOU TRYING TO AVOID ME?"
I KEPT SAYING TO STEF TO JUST IGNORE HER, JUST IGNORE HER. THEN ALISA SAID:  "OH, ARE  YOU HER FUCKING KEEPER?"
   I SAID, "GO GET YOUR STUFF.   LET'S JUST GO." AND WHEN I DID, ALISA GOT IN MY FACE AND PUSHED ME. 

AND THEN STEF WENT IN TO GET HER STUFF.  WE WALKED OUT OF THE CAFE TOWARDS THE -- WHERE WE WERE PARKED ON THE  STREET, AND ALISA FOLLOWED US AGAIN CALLING US DISGUSTING BULL DIKES, CUNTS, JUST ALL THESE HORRENDOUS NAMES.



Willen’s Statement from Follow up investigation - august 29th 2007 “incident.”

Notaro waited with Willen at approximately 2000 hours, Spitzberg arrived at sat down next to Willen and Notaro.. Spitzberg appeared intoxicated and began interrupting and insulting Notaro and Willen. Spitzberg told Willen that she was “horrible and despicable.” And “how could I be so wrong about you.” Willen walked outside and spitzberg called Willen a, “ Dumb ugly dyke.” Spitzberg then pushed Notaro. Willen stepped between Notaro and Spitzberg, and Notaro suggested they leave. Notaro and Willen walked away while Spitzberg shouted insults at them.
Court testimony of willen as to august 29,2007- transcript --- pg. 20
MS. WILLEN:  YES, IT IS.      THE COURT:  WHEN WAS THAT?
MS. WILLEN:  I BELIEVE I WAS THERE AT 7:00.  TIG   CAME AFTERWARDS, AND I'M NOT QUIET SURE, BUT I BELIEVE IT  WAS AROUND 8:00, A LITTLE AFTER.
THE COURT:  THAT'S 8:00 IN THE EVENING?
MS. WILLEN:  YES.
THE COURT:  DID SHE SPEAK TO MS. NOTARO MS. WILLEN:  YES, SHE SPOKE AT US.
THE COURT:  OKAY.  WHAT DID SHE SAY?
WILLEN: A SLURRY OF HOSTILE WORDS. SHE STARTED WITH WHAT BASICLY --"OH, YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER.YOU LOOK GREAT.  YOU LOOK GREAT. TOGETHER. NO WONDER ALL THE GALS LIKE YOU. LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE WEARING THE SAME PANTS." THEN IT MOVED ON TO -- WE WEREN'T RESPONDING TO HER.  WE WERE JUST TALKING AS IF SHE WASN'T THERE.  SHE GOT MORE HOSTILE AND MORE IN OUR FACE.  AND SHE JUST DID STUFF -- TRYING TO DENIGRATE OUR CHARACTER;
YOU KNOW:YOU GUYS ARE UGLY.  HOW COULDYOU DO THIS TO ME.  HOW COULD YOU NOT TALK TO ME; YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T
LIKE YOU DON'T
EVEN KNOW ME."




And if she now Notaro contendes that the harassment started here, was there ever really harassment? Not according to Heidi Feigin “the agent” Notaro places right there and not according to Griffee,
Notaro From Police report –April 7.2008- 9 months later!

On April 7, 2008 Notaro was performing at Largo. At approximately 2130 hours Notaro was talking to her agent when Spitzerg stepped in front of her and stated, “ You remember me?” Notaro told Spitzberg that she did not want to talk to her. Spitzberg
continued staying in front of Notaro. Notaro asked security to remove Spitzberg.
Notaro’s statement in Affidavit- April 7, 2008

On the evening of April 7, 2,008. I performed at Largo in Hollywood, CA.. After I got off stage alisa approached me to ask if I remembered her. I said plainly, “Yes, I do.” And then continued a conversation I was having with my agent. Alisa interrupted saying “no you don’t remember me. I said, Yes the night we met you were being aggressive and you pushed me. I remember you and I don’t want to talk to you at all. Leave me alone. Alisa became quickly enraged and insisted repeatedly that I was lying. Because I was afraid it would escalate, I had Michael Griffee, the doorman at largo, escort her out of the building.

transcript testimony of Notaro of april 7 –gets date wrong but insignificant
MS. NOTARO:  ON APRIL 12 SHE SHOWED UP, AND AFTER SHE SHOWED, I WAS SPEAKING TO MY AGENT, ALISA INTERRUPTED ME, AND SAID:"YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME.  DO YOU REMEMBER ME?" I SAID, "I DO," AND THEN TURNED BACK TO MY AGENT. THEN SHE INTERRUPTED ME AGAIN.  SHE SAID "I DON'T THINK YOU REMEMBER ME." I SAID, "I DO REMEMBER YOU.  TIME I MET YOU YOU WERE AGGRESSIVE. YOU PUSHED ME, AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU AT ALL."THEN SHE GOT IN MY FACE AND -- IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT SHE SAID.
THE COURT:  TELL ME WHAT SHE SAID
MS. NOTARO: SHE CALLED ME A CRAZY DIKE CUNT GOT IN THE MY FACE.  AND AT THAT POINT I HAD THE SECURITYREMOVE HER, AND HE IS ALSO HERE.SHE SHOWED UPCLAIMING THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS PERFORMING THERE AND SHE SHOWED UP – SHE'S STALKING  THIS PERSON THAT WE HAVE IN COMMON FOR THE PAST YEAR, SO I  KNOW SHE CAME TO THE SHOW LOOKING FOR STEPHANIE.

Notaro’s statement to investigator for PD given
Notaro said the next occasion, in which she had any type of contact with Alisa had occurred on 4/7/08. On that particular evening Notaro said she was performing at a club called Largo, and her show that night was called “Tig and friends.”
Sometimes during that evening Notaro said she had seen Alisa sitting inside of this club and near the bar area. Notaro advised that her brand new agent Heidi was also in attendance to see her perform her comedy show. After her show was over Notaro said she was in the audience and she was speaking to her agent.
All of a sudden, Notaro stated that Alisa then walked up to the two of them and said, “ Do you know who I am?” Do you remember me? Notaro replied back to her and said, “I know who you are . You shoved me.” After this brief encounter, Notaro said she walked to an employee who works at Largo, named Micheal, and he had asked Alisa to leave the location at her request. Alisa then left the location.

Heidi Feigin- was notaro’s agent and went to see her that night. Neil Spector investigator’s report for public defender.
Before her show even began notoro advised that Notaro walked up to the table where she was sitting at and she seemed upset at the time .She said she asked to notoro what was wrong and notoro told her something to the effect of “ this woman who has caused her a lot of problems is here.” Heidi stated that Notaro continued to tell her that she meaning Notaro had even needed to get a “restraining order” against this same female subject. As Notoro continued to speak with her, Heidi said this unknown female subject in question all of a sudden walked by the table where they had been talking at, and this unknown female subject said “hi” to someone and this unknown female subject continued on her way.
Heidi stated that Notaro told her, “that is the ex-girlfriend of my girlfriend and she’s causing a lof of problems for us.” She said Notoro had also said something to her about this female subject was also “stalking” her. Feigin stated that after this female subject walked by them, she sat at the bar area by herself. Heidi stated that Notaro then left her table, and she performed a short time later.
When asked if this female subject caused any trouble at the show at Largo at this night in question, Feigin said no. Feigin Advised that this unknown subject just appeared to be a “normal fan.” And she had caused no problems on that particular evening. She stated she had just sat at the back of this club and next to the bar while watching the show. When asked if she had seen this unknown female subject ever make contact with Notaro on that night in question, Feigin said no. When asked if she knew the unknown subject’s name, Feigin once again stated no.



Griffee’s account of april 7th pg. 11,12

THE COURT:  WHY DID YOU ASK HER TO LEAVE THE CLUB?
MR. GRIFFEE:  TIG EXPRESSED THAT SHE FELT THREATENED BY THE DEFENDANT, AND SHE ASKED IF I WOULD ASK HER TO LEAVE.  AND, OF COURSE, IN MY LINE OF WORK, IF MY  ARTIST FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT ANYTHING, I ASK THEM TO   LEAVE.
 THE COURT:  DID YOU TELL MS. SPITZBERG TO LEAVE?
 MR. GRIFFEE:  YES.    
THE COURT:  WHAT DID SHE SAY TO YOU?
MR. GRIFFEE:  SHE SAID "WHY?"     I SAID, "YOU ARE MAKING TIG FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE."SHE SAID, "WELL, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER. I SAID -- YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T WITNESS ANY INTERACTION BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM.  I SAID:  "YOU KNOW, IT'S MY JOB HERE TO MAKE MY ARTIST FEEL COMFORTABLE, SO I WILL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE."
THE COURT:  DID SHE LEAVE PEACEFULLY?
MR. GRIFFEE:  BASICLY, YES.  IT WAS AFTER THE SHOW, SO THERE WAS PEOPLE LEAVING AT THAT POINT THAT THE  CLUB WAS KIND OF EMPTYING OUT.  I WALKED HER TO THE FRONT   DOOR, AND THEN, AS -- WHEN SHE GOT TO THE FRONT DOOR, SHE
  JUST SAID:  "YOU KNOW, SHE'S CRAZY. SHE SAYS I DID ALL THIS STUFF
     TO HER.  SHE'S CRAZY."SHE KEPT SAYING HOW TIG WAS CRAZY AND SHE DIDN'T   DO ANYTHING.  I SAID: "THAT'S NOT MY PLACE TO JUDGE.
YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW.


Griffee’s account April 7th, 2008 in the same transcript a few minutes/pages later.

THE COURT: IN EITHER OCCASION IN APRIL, DID YOU SEE MS. NOTARO AND MS. SPITZBERG TALK TO EACH OTHER?
MR. GRIFFEE: YES.

THE COURT: WHAT DID YOU WITNESS THEM SAY TO EACH OTHER?

GRIFFEE:I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS AFTER THE CLUB -- THE MUSIC WAS UP. THERE WAS PEOPLE ALL AROUND ME TALKING. I WAS STANDING AT THE END OF THE -- I WAS STANDING IN THE KITCHEN, AND THE DOOR HAD OPENED.TIG -- MS. NOTARO WAS AT THE END OF THE BAR. ISAID, MICHAEL -- MICHAEL AND I JUST CAME OUT FROM THE KITCHEN AND SAID WHAT'S UP, AND SHE JUST SAID, YOU KNOW,THIS PERSON IS ACTING AGGRESSIVE AND THREATENING AND I DON'T KNOW ANY HISTORY OR ANYTHING. SAY, OH, LET ME TAKE CARE OF THAT. I SAID, "TIG, GO TO THE KITCHEN." I WAS WALKING PAST HER AND THE DEFENDANT AND HER HAD WORDS. I DON'T REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT. THE DEFENDANT WAS JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU ARE CRAZY. YOU ARE CRAZY."


Or is this when the stalking, threats and harassment started. Julius Quinn Robert’s affidavidit will show Notaro is lying and Griffee and Seccia will eventually show that not only is Notaro lying but they are too.

Police report – April 12, 2008 incident-  Statement by notaro
On April 12th 2008 Notaro was standing outside Largo. At approximately 2130 hours, Notaro was standing outside with owner, Mark Flanagan Notaro saw Spitzberg and her sister running towards her. She ran inside and security closed the doors.

Spitzberg pounded on the doors and yelled, “where gonna get that fucking dyke!” Security kept the doors closed for over an hour.

The police were called but Spitzberg had left before they arrived.
. April 12 Incident

The next night I performed at Largo was April 12th , 2008., I was standing outside the club with the owner Mark Flanagan. I noticed Alisa and her sister, Lauren Spitzberg, about fifteen feet away from my right. They ran towards me and lunged at me, and I ran inside before they could make physical contact. They were not allowed entrance into the club, and Mark Flanagan called the police.

Alisa and Lauren went around to the back door, and for an hour and a half proceeded to verbally abuse Mark Flanagan and Michael Griffee, scream at the top of their lungs, and bang on the door.

They ran back and forth from the front to back entrance yelling, “were going to get that dyke.” They left close to 11 p.m before the police could come.

Notaro’s testimony Transcript April 12th
MS. NOTARO:  THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY NIGHT I WAS   PERFORMING AGAIN, AND I WAS OUTSIDE OF THE VENUE TALKING TO
  THE OWNER OF THE CLUB, AND I LOOKED TO MY RIGHT AND ALISA AND HER SISTER RIGHT AS I TURNED TO MY RIGHT WERE RUNNING  DOWN THE SIDEWALK TOWARDS ME.  I WENT INSIDE.  THE OWNER  SHUT THE DOOR, WOULDN'T LET THEM IN.
AT THAT POINT THEY HAD TO LOCK THE DOOR BECAUSE THEY WERE KICKING AND BEATING THE DOOR SAYING WE'RE GOING
TO GET THAT FUCKING DIKE. 

AND THEN THEY WENT AROUND TO THE  BACK.  THAT'S WHEN AGAIN MY BACK DOOR GUY FROM LARGO, THE HAD TO LOCK THE BACK DOOR, AND THEY CONTINUED DOING THAT FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF.  AND THEN KEVIN, WHO I'VE ALSO
BROUGHT, WAS SOMEBODY THAT WAS AT THE VENUE THAT NIGHT, ANJUST; SAYING:  "WE'RE GOING TO GET THA FUCKING DIKE.  SHE BETTER WATCH HER BACK.

Notaro statement to Neil Spector

Notaro said a few nights later, Alisa once again showed up at Largo. This time she brought her sister along with her. When Alisa first showed up on this second night Notaro stated that she had been outside and talking with its owner Mark Flanagan Notaro said that Flanagan told her to immediately get inside the club and he would take care of Alisa and her sister. Notaro also advised that the police also showed up that evening at Largo but she believed that Alisa and her Sister had already left Largo. Prior to the police arriving there. She said that she carried on with her performance that evening but she advised that she was in a “paranoid state” throughout the evening..


Julius Quinn Robert’s statement affidavit (doorman at the dime bar very closeby and witnessed any activity at front door)

I am the door guy at the dime which is no more than 16 feet away from where largo once was. I remember the day in question and remember nothing happen(ing) I even
talked to the ladies for a minute or two and invited them inside the dime for a drink. These ladies are good people to be around and everything that this woman said is a lie.



































Griffee testimony as to April 12th
MR. GRIFFEE:  LAST TIME THAT I SAW HER AT THECLUB WAS ON APRIL 12, SATURDAY NIGHT.THE COURT:  DID SHE SAY ANYTHING TO YOU?
MR. GRIFFEE:  YES, SIR.SHE SAID THINGS OVER THE ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF, SIR.  THERE WAS LOTS SAID --
THE COURT: 
WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY TO YOU? MR. GRIFFEE:  BY THEN, THE OWNER WENT INSIDE AND I STAYED OUTSIDE.  HER SISTER WAS WITH HER OR THE PERSON I WAS TOLD WAS HER SISTER WAS WITH HER, AND THEY BASICLY JUST  BEGAN HARASSING ME SAYING THAT THEY WERE GOING TO CLOSE DOWN THE CLUB AND THAT THEY WERE VERY POWERFUL PEOPLE; THAT I WAS AN ASSHOLE, A FAGOT, AND BALD,
THE COURT: WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY TO YOU?
MR. GRIFFEE: 
YOU KNOW, SHE BASICLY JUST KEPT REITERATING, YOU KNOW, "WHY DID KICK ME OUT LAST" -- IWAS, YOU KNOW, FIVE DAYS BEFORE THEN "WHY DID YOU KICK ME OUT ON MONDAY.  I WANT JUSTICE. I WANT JUSTICE." I KEPT SAYING, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.  THIS IS MY BUSINESS.  IF I SAY YOU SAY CAN’T BE HERE; YOU CAN'T BE HERE." THEY WALKED AWAY AFTER A COUPLE MINUTES,
AND THEN TEN MINUTES LATER SHE SHOWED UP AT THE BACK DOORAN ALLEY AND MY KITCHEN DOOR. 
THE COURT:  DID SHE SAY ANYTHING TO YOU BY THE BACK DOOR?MR. GRIFFEE:  YES.  THEY, MYSELF, AND KEVIN WERE OUT BACK.  KEVIN WAS HAVING A CIGAR IN THE ALLEY, AND I WENT BACK TO MAKE SURE THEY DIDN'T TRY TO COME IN THE BACK  DOOR.  BEFORE LONG THEY HAD BOTH COME UP THE ALLEY AN APPROACHED US AND WERE JUST VERBALLY HARASSIN I CAN TELL YOU THE GIST OF WHAT THEY WERE SAYI WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, STANDING FACE TO FACE WITH ME AND JUSTSAYING, YOU KNOW:  "YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. YOU ARE A FUCKER.""YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT OF YOUR CLUB."

"MY MOTHER IS A VERY POWERFUL PERSON."WE'RE GOING TO SHUT YOUR CLUB DOWN." IT WENT ON A VERY LONG TIME.
THE COURT:  DID THEY SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MS. NOTARO?
MR. GRIFFEE: 
WELL, THEY SAID, BASICALLY -- THE COURT:  STRIKE MY QUESTION.DID MS. SPITZBERG SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MS. NOTARO?
MR. GRIFFEE.  MS. SPITZBERG BASICLY WAS JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW:  "THAT BITCH CAN'T GET ME THROWN OUT OF YOUR CLUB AND, YOU KNOW:  "SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHERE I CAN GO AND, YOU KNOW -- AND I JUST KEPT SAYING :  "WHY ARE YOU HERE?  I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY ARE YOU HERE?  WHY DO IF YOU DON'T LIKE HER, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO COME TO HER SHOW. WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE." THE COURT:  AND SHE SAID? MR. GRIFFEE:  I NEVER GOT A LUCID ANSWER, YOUR HONOR.  SHE KEPT SAYING:  "I WANT JUSTICE.I WANT JUSTICE.  YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT OF YOUR CLUB."
























SECCIAS Version of April 12th
I REMEMBER MS.NOTARO COMING UP TO ME BEFORE HER SHOW REALLY OUT OF THE SORTS, NERVOUS, UPSET TO THE POINT THAT I WAS NOT -- I WAS WORRIED ABOU KNOW, HER PERFORMANCE, THAT SHE'S GOOD TO GO ON STAGE.  SHE WAS REALLY FREAKED OUT, AND SHE EXPLAINED THE SITUATION,WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND WHAT HER CONCERNS WERE. ONE IS GOING TO COME IN HERE, NO ONE IS GOING TO -- MICHAEL WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.  NO ONE IS GOING TO STORM THROUGH THE DOOR, YOU KNOW.  I'M BACK HERE WATCHING THE DOOR.  YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO ON STAGE. THE COURT:  DID YOU HAVE ANY CONVERSATIONS WITH MS. SPITZBERG?
MR. SECCIA: 
YES.
THE COURT:  TELL ME ABOUT THAT. 

SECCIA: THAT WAS LATER IN THE EVENING.  THAT WAS IN THE ALLEY WHEN I WAS SMOKING A CIGAR.  AND THEY ARE JUST REALLY AGGRESSIVE.
AND " "SHE IS A FUCKING CUNT," "WE'RE GOING TO GET HER,"THIS IS ISN'T OVER."
THEN SHE CALLED US NERDS, UGLY.  SHE ASKED WHAT WE WERE DOING.  I TRIED REASONING ALONG THE LINES:"DOESN'T THE BIGGER PERSON WALKAWAY.  WHO IS IN THE WRONG NOW THEN SHE WENT ON TO SAY -- I'M NOT SURE IF IT WAS   HER OR HER SISTER.  IT WAS MS. SPITZBERG WHO SAID THAT:
 "YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE A JOB .THE NEXT MONTH.  I'M OUT OF WORK.
   THIS IS MY JOB.  YOU TELL HER IT ISN'T OVER.  ANY TIME SHE GOES OUTTHE HOUSE, ANY TIME SHE PERFORMS,
I'M GOING TO BE ON HER.  I'M GOING   TO SHOW UP.  THIS IS NOW MY
JOB."



To Neil Spector PD

Seccia says he only knows Alisa from their one chance encounter on this occasion, and he further stated that he can’t even rememeber when this encounter had occurred, other than that it took place sometime last year. While located outside and to the rear or Largo, and in between performances, Seccia stated he had been smoking a cigarette when two female subjects approached him on foot.

Seccia said an employee of Largo , by the name of Micheal had actually been the person who was working at the rear of this club at the night in question. Seccia said he just happened to be smoking a cigarette outside and talking with Griffee when these two female subjects walked up to the two of them.

Seccia advised he later found out that these two female subjects had been Alisa and her sister(Lauren)Seccia did say that prior to this encounter with Alisa he had been informed about her another comedian friend of his by the name of “Tig”
Said he works with Notaro on occasion at clubs, be can’t remember whether she had been working with him at this location on this night in question.

When asked why Notaro had informed him and other possible employees at Largo of Alisa Seccia believed that she, meaning, Notaro, had been telling friends of hers, at the various clubs where she performed at , about Alisa and the fact that she, meaning Alisa, had supposedly been making some type of “threatening” remarks against her. Due to this, Notaro said he believed that Notaro was concerned for her safety, and she had wanted to make people aware of Alisa. Other that that information Seccia advised that he had never even heard of Alisa prior to this incident in question.
4. Did this really happen? It didn’t and Julius’s affidavit will confirm what really went on upfront and the profoundly conflicting statements of Notaro, Griffee and Seccia will show that it was a lie and that as Griffee said to the investigator: They just came to talk to management to find out why Notaro was kicking them out. Seccia says the incident took several minutes. Notaro states to this court that under penalty of perjury that this lasted an hour and a half.
5. So, this is the second incident? What about August and is this what happened. According to statements now in possession made my Notaro, Whitaker, Rita and that further discovery should show that Notaro has made this all up and has had others lie for her.
6.-13
The rest becomes moot and the order is void.


From Notaro’s police Statement.

On April 8th R received an e-mail from Spitzberg who expressed anger over being kicked out of the club and vowed revenge.

statement from Notaros affidavit.

The next day I received an e-mail from Alisa that read “ I will do everything in my sustainable power to get even with you.”

The actual e-mail I sent

Subject:
(no subject)
Date:
4/8/2008
From:


Reply To:


To:
tignation@hotmail.com
.
I had absolutely no beef with you. I just didn't. Why would I? But, for you to make up a false accusation of me pushing you  and have me kicked out when i asked you if I'd heard right about that is incomprehensible. Me and my sister were told to check out the walsh brothers and she didn't want to go so I decided to see what turned out to be your show. You were excellent, and the show was great and that's that. Why would you want to lie about and hurt someone in your audience?  I never deserved or anticipated that you'd make up some lie and then have me thrown out. What a hateful thing to do to someone who just pays you a compliment  and who has nothing to do with you except for some bad fling ,over a year ago,  with your then ex girlfriend. I'll do everything in my(substantial) power to get even.

Affidavit of Notaro

for the duration of this time period, after every incident in which Alisa attempted to contact me in person( I thought I was there to contact Stephanie?) she harassed Stephanie Willen with repeated phone calls and e-mails.

NOTE from Spitzberg: Show one call. I never called Willen ONCE. E-mails were meant to get some understanding of Notaro’s behavior. When did Willen change her number? If so, why? Have them show calls or e-mails etc.

In police report Notaro or Willen says I called Willen and tried to contact her employers. Bring these “employers,” To court. Have willen testify or anyone she knows and was around her during that period.





Police report – April 29th 2008- statement by notaro

On April 28th 2008, Notaro performed at the Improv. A friend had contacted her prior to the arrival at the club and told her that Spitzberg had been removed by security.

At 2130 hours Notaro finished her act and was leaving the club. Notaro was outside with a friend when she saw Lauren spitzberg walking towards her. Notaro went back inside the club and watched from a window. Spitzberg, her sister, and mother were all outside the club yelling about Spitzberg being removed from the club. Spitzberg stated that R better watch her back and that she knew where she lived what car she drove. Patrol officers were called and arrived at the scene.

















Affidavit of Notaro- April 29th 2008



On the night of Tuesday 29th 2008 I performed at the Improv in Hollywood.CA. As I was driving to the club, Lesley Wolff, the promoter for the show called me to inform me that Alisa had been inside the club and had been removed. As I pulled up at 8.PM, I saw Alisa Outside talking to People. I noticed a sherriff the street, unrelated to the situation, and asked him to see what was going on., to distract alisa, so I could go through the side door.

Brian, the door security informed me that Alisa had announced to him my license plate number and color/make of car, and warned that she knew where I lived.
At 9:30 p.m I was informed that Alisa had left, and then I attempted to leave the club. Just as I took a step out of the door I saw Lauren Walking towards the venue.. Feeling unsafe I went back inside. I was informed that Alisa, Lauren, and their mother were now all in the front of the club. I was stuck inside the club for two more hours as the three of them verbally attacked performers, patrons, and security. The police were called and made note of the incident but because my life had not been directly threatened they were unable to take action. Eventually, the three women left and I was able to go home






Trancript testimony of Notaro. April 29,2008
I WAS PERFORMING AT THE IMPROV IN HOLLYWOOD, AND I SHOWED UP –AND I HAVE INFORMED THE CLUBS WHERE I PERFORM ABOUT ALISA AND HER SISTER BECAUSE THEY HAVE SHOWN UP PREVIOUSLY TO OTHER VENUES WHERE I HAVE PERFORMED, AND SO THEY KNEW ABOUT THEM.  SO WHEN I WAS ARRIVING TO THE CLUB, THEY CALLED ME TO TELL ME -- THE CLUB CALLED TO TELL ME THAT ALISA WAS THERE AND SHE HAD BEEN REMOVED FROM THE CLUB  SO I SHOWED UP AT THE SHOW; ALISA, HER SISTER, AND THEN HER MOTHER, ALSO SHOWED UP WHILE I WAS PERFORMING AND SPENT TWO HOURS CASING THE PLACE AND MAKING THREATS AND HARRASSING
THE COURT:  WHO DID THEY MAKE THREATS TO?
MS. NOTARO:  PEOPLE WAITING TO GO TO THE SHOW. 
THE COURT: YOU WERE INSIDE PERFORMING?
MS. NOTARO:  YES.
THE COURT:  YOU ARE TELLING ME THEY ARE OUTSIDE -- THE PEOPLE THAT, I ASSUME, ARE STANDING IN LINETO GET IN -- AND THAT THEY ARE GOING UP TO THESE PEOPLE TO DISCOURAGE THEM FROM SEEING YOU. IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?
MS. NOTARO:  NO.  THEY WERE SAYING TOTHESECURITYGUARD
THE COURT:  YES.
  MS. NOTARO:  -- AT THE DOOR, THAT I BETTER WATCHMY BACK, ALL BASED ON OTHER PREVIOUS EVENTS.  THAT'S WH CAN'T -- DIDN'T COME OUT OF THE VENUE.
THE COURT:  THEY ARE TELLING THIS TO THE SECURITY PEOPLE?
MS. NOTARO:  RIGHT, WHO ARE HERE.  I'VE BROUGHT THEM HERE.
THE COURT:  SHE IS ALLEGEDLY SAYING IT TO THIS PERSON BUT NOT TO YOU?
MS. NOTARO:  RIGHT. THE COURT:  OKAY.  I MEAN, WHILE YOU ARE INSIDE AND YOU ARE DOING YOUR SHOWS. NOTARO: I COULDN'T LEAVE BECAUSE THEY WERE OUT THERE.  BASED ON PREVIOUS SITUATIONS, I DIDN'T WANT TO COME OUT OF THE CLUB  BECAUSE THEY HAD BEEN AGGRESSIVE AT OTHER VENUES



.








BRIAN WHITAKERS TESTIMONY as to April 29,2008

THE COURT:  OKAY.  WHAT DO YOU FOR THE CLUB? MR. WHITAKER:  I'M SECURITY THERE, SIR.
THE COURT:  WHICH CLUB.
MR. WHITAKER:  THE IMPROV COMEDY CLUB.
THE COURT:  DID YOU SEE MS. SPITZBERG AT THE CLUB?
MR. WHITAKER:  YES.
 
THE COURT:  WHAT DID SHE SAY TO YOU?
MR. WHITAKER:  WELL, IT WAS OVER A COURSE,   BELIEVE, OF -- IT'S MORE LIKE TIG WAS THIS WHOLE TIME -- SHE MENTIONED TWO HOURS; IT WAS ACTUALLY MORE LIKE FOUR OR FIVE HOURS.  DURING THE ENTIRE NIGHT, SHE SHOWED UP A LEFT AND THEN HAD HER SISTER SHOW UP AND SHE LEFT; THEN THEY ALL THREE CAME BACK; SHE, HER MOTHER -- FIRST, THERE  WERE A LOT OF WORDS EXCHANGED, BUT IT STARTED OFF, I SHE CAME OUT FOR A CIGARETTE AND -- I NOTICED HER FROM THE PICTURE I WAS GIVEN AND WARNED OF,  SO I -- YOU KNOW, WE HAD BEEN TALKING FOR A LITTLE BIT,   HAVING A POLITE CONVERSATION.  SHE SEEMED A LITTLE BIT OFF. I CHECKED THE PICTURE BECAUSE THE EYES LOOKED FAMILIAR TO MY PICTURE IN MY POCKET, SHIRT POCKET. I NOTICED IT WAS HER.  I ASKED HER IF HER NAMEWAS ALISA.  SHE SAID:  "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"I SAID, "I'M VERY SORRY YOU CAME. CAN'T ALLOW YOU BACK IN THE CLUB SHE IMMEDIATELY JUST SEEMED TO KNOW WHAT I WAS  TALKING ABOUT.  HER EYES LIT UP."DID THAT DIKE HAVE ME KICKED OUT OF HERE? I SAID -- I WAS TRYING TO PLAY HER FRIEND  I SAID:  "YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT COMICS, THEY CAN BE PREMADONNAS." I WAS TRYING TO KEEP HER OUT IN A PEACEFUL WAY THEY WANTED MONEY BACK FOR THE BEER THEY BOUGHT.  I TRIEDTO ARRANGED WITH THE BARTENDER TO GET HER A LITTLE MONEY BACK.  AND WHEN I GOT HER MONEY BACK FOR THEM, THEY WENTHER TIP BACK, AND THE BARTENDER WOULD NOT GIVE THE TIP BACK. SHE STARTED TO GET A LITTLE BIT AGITATED AND I ASKED HER TO STAND A LITTLE BIT FURTHER AWAY FROM THE DOO WHICH THEY DID, SHE DID.  AND IT WAS STILL -- IT WAS STIL ON A CORDIAL LEVEL.  WE WERE TRYING TO KEEP IT PEACEFULL ALL THAT.  IT WAS WORKING THEN SHE STARTED BEING -- SHE STARTED TRYING TO BE SUBTLE IN HER INSULTS TOWARDS ME "I UNDERSTAND YOUR POSITION YOU ARE TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR SHITTY I SAID, "YEAH, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. SHE BASICLY INFORMED ME THEN, SHE SAID:"DON'T WORRY, I KNOW TIG'S CAR. I KNOW THE LICENSE PLATSHE MENTIONED THE MAKE AND LICENSE PLATE ON THECAR.  I ONLY REMEMBER TWO NUMBERS IN THE LICENSE PLATE THATSHE MENTIONED.  I CLEARED IT WITH TIG LATER AND ASKED W I MET TIG IS THAT HER CAR, IS THAT THE MAKE. SHE SAID, "HOW DID SHE KNOW THIS?" BASICALLY, AFTER THAT, I TOLD HER:YOU ARE NOT GOING -- YOU HAVE TNOT WELCOME HERE." SHE STARTED CALLING ME A DOG.  SHE SAID I WASTRYING TO MAKE INSTANT MANAGER.  SHE ASKED AROUND INSIDE. SHE FOUND OUT I ONLY MAKE $4.00 AN HOUR THERE.  I'M JU THERE TO KISS UP AND, YOU KNOW, TRY TO BE A COMEDIAN WHATEVER.  THEN SHE SWITCHED HER STORY.  FIVE MINUTES LATER SHE GOT AROUND INSIDE AND FOUND OUT THAT I DON'T GET PAID AT ALL TO BE THERE.

Reeta Piazza- gives statement to investigator- contradicts all statements yet and makes no sense and is only in response to fear of lawsuit. Nothing she says is accurate and everything she says just contradicts all testimony of notaro or Whitaker.


Reeta Piazza statement.
On an unknown date and sometime last year piazza said that spitzberg had showed up at the improv on an evening in which notaro was going to be performing there. Piazza further said tNotaro was concerned that spitzberg may try and disrupt her show if she was allowed in this venue on the evening of her performance.

On this particular night in question Reeta state that one of their comedians by the name of Brian whitaker, who was also working in the capacity as “security” at the front door, was the one who had initially recognized Spitzberg at the front door. Whitaker said that Spitzberg had earlier been trying to into the show that night but since Whitaker had recognized her from the earlier photograph, he was not allowing her into this location.

Reeta stated this situation was now brought to her attention that evening, due to Spitzbergs’ supposed behavior after she was denied access into the comedy club. Reeta was advised that spitzberg was acting in a very aggressive manner towards her staff (who???) after she had been denied access into the club. When asked what she meant by “aggressive.” Reeta said that Spitzberg was being “verbally abusive” towards her employees, especially towards Brian Whitaker.

Reeta stated the she then went outside and briefly spoke to Spitzberg about this situation. She said that when she talked to Spitzberg, it appeared that Spitzberg's eyes were very “wild” and she had a strange look about herself. She said Spitzberg also told her that she is a lawyer and that she wasn’t going to look into taking some legal action against her and the club for not allowing her inside the club on that particular evening. Reeta stated after having a brief conversation with her, who believed that Spitzberg is definitely a “disturbed’ individual. When asked if she knew whether or not, if Spitzberg had been alone on that night in question reeta said she believed so, since nobody else had made contact with her, other than spitzberg herself.

She said she works as the Director of Special Events at the Improv Comedy Showcase and Restaurant. She stated that she knows Notaro well, due to the fact she performs at her club as a comedian, on a regular basis. She said she has also met spitzberg on a couple of different occasions due to the fact that she has shown up as a customer at this location when Notaro has performed there. Other than those circumstances she would have absolutely no idea who Spitzberg is.

On a different occasion Reeta stated that Spitzberg once again showed p to the Improv but this time she had identified herself as Spitzberg’s sister Reeta said she was unable to remember about this incident, whether or not the two of them had just wanted to enter the premises in order to watch a show on that particular evening or if they had just come together as to talk with club management in order to try and find out why Spitzberg had been denied access to this business on a previous night.

Reeta said that both Spitzberg and her sister were again verbally abusing her employees on that particular night, and once again neither of them were let into the show on that evening. When asked if Notaro had been performing there on that night, reeta said she wasn’t sure. Reeta advised that the two of them had actually refused to leave on that night, and they were about to call the police. Reeta said both her and her sister eventually left the premises.

Sometime in May 2008, reeta stated that Spitzberg’s mother had also showed up to their comedy club On that particular date, reeta advised the that her mother had some kind of transcripts in her possession, and apparently wanted to show her what had been said about her daughter, that being Spitzberg, at a court hearing involving Notaro obtaining a restraining order against her daughter. R further stated that spitzbergs mother had told her some of her employees had supposedly lied at this restraining order hearing pertaining to issues involving both Notaro and her daughter. R said she never looked at these “transcripts” that spitzbergs mother had in her possession.

In addition Reeta stated that Spitzberg once again showed up at her club, and she was telling her, meaning relaying to r how “Unproffessional” her staff was. R said she didn’t have to call the police this last time when Spitzberg had showed up at this club.

Reeta did advise on the one night that Spitzberg had had showed up to the Improv, in which Notaro had been performing on that particular evening, Notaro did seem very ‘frightened” as soon as she found out that Spitzberg was in front of the club. And she was attempting to get in so as to attend Notaro’s performance. Reeta said neither notaro nor spitzberg had contact with one another on that night in question.

R also stated that Notaro had asked her to show up to court on the date of her restraining order violation hearing but she was out of town on that same date.
R further advised that she doesn’t want to be involved in this matter any longer. I then ended my conversation with r and conducted no further investigation.


July 14, 2008



Notaro
My friend and fellow comedian, Martha Kelly, informed me of being singled out and harassed by Alisa Spitzberg regarding the permanent restraining order I was awarded against Ms. Spitzberg on May 28th, 2008. Martha described being at a venue “El Cid” in Los Feliz CA to do Stand up comedy and Ms approaching her and saying such things as “Tell tig I said to drop the restraiing order, she’s a pathological liar, my mother can’t sleep at night because of this, I can’t buy a firearm now, I don’t see her as a human being and I will never let her rest for as long as she’s alive.

Comedian Jeff Singer also witnessed this interaction and contacted me about the scene Ms Spitzberg was causing at the show. Mr Spitzberg’s behavior and comments were extremely disturbing and offered to be a witness if necessary.

Thanks in advance for your attention to this matter,
Mathilde(Tig) Notaro

Ms.
Martha- no mention of mother, no mention of converstation, no mention of me not introducing myself in any way.






Notaro- singeld out Kelly, made scene, mentioned mother couldn’t sleep, made scene of note

Jeff Singer or Klinger- anxious to discuss the disturbing scene- another aspiring comedian ala seccia and Whitaker who have now been shown to be lying.





Manager of el Cid. “No idea what spector was talking about. Would now of any incidence of importance. Never heard or any of this.




Further evidence. Tom sharpe doesn’t live with her and never did. Also goes to show how widespread the slander is/will be in the future.

In response to “Hogre” saying “great article about your roommate on citybeat LA website. Mr. Sharpe writes flattering piece about notaro. Someone writes “ great article about your roommate.

There is an insinuation in your comment. Allow me to clarify:
Tig and I have performed in several shows together and I consider her a friend. While we've exchanged the occasional email and phone call, I haven't seen her in person in over 10 months. We have never been roommates. There was some talk a number of months ago about a group of comics renting a house together-- I was one of those comics. While Tig and a couple of other comics did move forward with that plan, I've never even set foot in the place. Curious to know how you could possibly have heard about any of this, or where you got your erroneous information that I was currently her roommate.
Here's who I am:
I'm a standup comic who's been at it for well over a decade-- this past year and a half I've been inactive due to illness. I know and am on friendly terms with probably half of the comedians in Los Angeles. No exaggeration. Hundreds and hundreds of them. I love comics, from big shot headliners to first year open mikers. You can't do comedy in LA for as long as I have without becoming friends with your fellow comics. (Not unless you're antisocial. Which I'm not, Erin, even though I was a bedwetter and one of the best.) When the editor asked me about writing about comedy for citybeat from time to time I expressed concern. I could write about some brilliant comics, but many of them might also happen to be my friends. It was unavoidable. That's the circle that I run in. Was that a problem?
She thought I could work it out. Here's my promise: If I write about a comic, they're going to be relevant and excellent at their craft. If there's a relevant relationship, I will disclose it.
posted by tomsharpe on 10/10/08 @ 12:34 a.m.

Hogre,
Your comments and my initial response may have been inadvertently removed along with some targeted comments, which were removed due to their similarity to a glut of comments left on Tig's videos and website and in emails over the past year by a stalker. This person has been court ordered to refrain from all contact with Tig. This is a painful situation and it's truly unfortunate it has to come up here-- I hope that you find it in your heart to understand the circumstances under which you now feel slighted. And I hope that you will refrain from reposting those inappropriate comments as you did above, without waiting for a response.
Again, I am not Tig's roomate. But, I would call her a friend. I have not spoken to her face to face in over 10 months, although we have communicated occasionally by phone and email. As you can see in the interview, I indicated in the question regarding the crackpot tour that I have collaborated with Tig in the past. I was contacted by Tig a number of months ago when she learned that I might have been looking for a place. She and two other comics were concurrently looking for a 4th roommate in a houseful of comedians. I did not move in with them.

As a standup comedian active in the Los Angeles scene for well over a decade, I am on friendly terms with hundreds of comedians. I hope that the concern you've voiced really does regard journalistic integrity as opposed to a personal vendetta and that this will answer your question. My relationships with comedians-- and many of the comics who are most newsworthy in Los Angeles are also my friends-- will have it's pros and cons when I write about comedy. I've learned so much about the inner workings of comedy due to my experience working alongside these comics, interacting with them professionally and socially, and I think this experience qualifies me as an expert as to who is at the top of their comedy game, advancing the craft of standup and making a difference in the Los Angeles and national scene. But I acknowledge it is possible that my friendships might color some objectivity. I keep this in mind and I look to radio for a parallel: I feel that if Steve Jones can do a consistently good radio show, maybe I can somehow pull off an occasional article about comedy. My motivation is this: introduce the Los Angeles public to some truly excellent comedy in the city, and in the process, get paid a few dollars to do it.
I hope this answers your questions
posted by tomsharpe on 10/10/08 @ 09:13 p.m.


















Motive for spitzberg? As invented by Notaro or Willen or both? Spitzberg was jealous over weekend spent with notoaro in april 07 and also upset that Willen didn’t help Spitzberg with comedy career via Notaro.
Destroyed by emails and other evidence. Show e-mails. Send relevant e-mails file.

Motive for Notaro( pig poem. Val Myers “ What are you entitled?” E-mails where willen tells Spitzberg knitting needles over tig due to her and Willen telling Spitzberg how Spitzberg was educated, read, had a good family, so much better than notaro- probably told this to tig to get her jealous and this time willen’s attempt to get someone jealous did work)

Tom sharpe doesn’t live with her
Neither does Chris Fairbanks.

Garage comedy-
Targeted Kelly according to Notaro. Show evidence of going there to avoid any chance of seeing notaro etc. Lack of logic to any of it and depose Kelly or get written statement.
What was really said and was there a scene.

Show investigator’s report of el cid manager.

Credit card statements.
Notoro’s run ins with threats and violence

In a message dated 4/21/2007 2:28:35 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
> swillen@gmail.com writes to alisa spitzberg:
> alisa,
> back now at my place. had a crazy night. went to the normadie room
> with tig and her friend from denver. we wanted to show her friend a
> nice, quiet bar and at the end of the evening a birthday girl calledd tig a "fucking dyke" for eating a
> piece of her cake, then the girl threw cake at her, and yelled at me,
> then the next thing we knew she was thowing beer mugs at
> people's foreheads and three girls walked out bleeding from the head,
> two abulences came and she started unching some other girl
> up against the glass, then she actually dove out the glass,
> shattering it, cutting herself and ran down the street. a fire truck
> then came and we were all asked to help the police find a girl running
> down santa monica. i told an officer, "shes wearing an a tshirit > shirt and she's bleeding. good luck."

From an interview she (notaro) just did- check to see if this really happened
My joke is- well, then just call the doll Becky. Some people got up during the set and walked out. I asked them, ‘Where are you headed?’ and they said ‘Maybe you’ll think twice before you make fun of people.’ One of the woman pointed at somebody she was with and was like, ‘He just got over cancer...’ I was so baffled, so confused. Everybody was baffled! I don’t know where they read in that I was saying, ‘Haha you have cancer.’ Nowhere. I don’t know where it came about. So, they left and started yelling with the owner of the bar, it turned into a brawl and the cops came. I was still on stage this whole time. A fist fight broke out... This is all during my set. I had to stay focused and talk to audience while people were pinning each other down and screaming. And one of the guys that left, the police broke his leg while they were holding him down.”
from martha kelly's blog

 Portland threw us a curveball which we caught and re-threw into a jewelry store, breaking the window and setting off the alarm system. When the cops came we pleaded not guilty by reason of Steve's beard, and as per usual they let us walk.
 I tried to rush Tig and Steve out right after the Super 7 show. Tig's response to being rushed goes something like "Oh, uh-uh, no. I won't be talked to like that" and then she walks away. I got mad at her and we had our first and so far only fight while Steve obliviously fingered Japanese toys at the back of the store. I thought we might not speak to each other for hours but our fight ended as abruptly as it started when Tig sassed a panhandler outside the store. She countered his long and winding road of a story with "Hold on a minute sir, I've got a story for YOU." Then she told him about her dad the security guard who lives in a basement in Baltimore. Tour Number Two, Update Number One
Dear Crackpot Blog,
First stop: Ontario, CA. We left an hour late due to a combination of me being an hour late and no one having the balls to leave without me. To make up on time, Tig almost rear-ended a guy. I screamed, Tig objected, Steve overruled the objection. Sidetrack: on the first tour, people not liking other people's driving was a big issue. The people who didn't like my driving were against hearing "whoa-oh!" every time we took a corner over 30 mph. The people who didn't like Tig's driving were disturbed by her combination of speeding and saying things like "I'm not afraid of dying" and "Nothing really matters anyway."



from some other invertiew
Tig Well, we almost got our asses kicked last night. We stayed at this guy’s house who literally went crazy while we were staying there and almost murdered us, so it’s not really as fun as it sounds.
Martha I didn’t stay there. That’s probably why I think it’s fun.
Tig Yeah.

Poems to tig on Willen blog. Evidence available to show that these “poems are written by willen and are to Mathilde.

Aug 4 2008 8:21 PM

do you know you are in kjell's top friends? things are really looking up for you! congrats on that AND the new horse.

May 29 2008 4:05 PM

80 degrees, sunny, mariposa st., sushi dinner, swim in the hot springs tomorrow on our drive up to aspen, comedy festival dinner party friday night, hike saturday morning in the mountains, tell jokes for 15 minutes saturday night and make monthly income for june, take sunday off to hang out in aspen with friends, fly home to LA to shoot 2 more episodes. thankfully a couple of vacations are coming up after this hectic schedule.

On willen’s my space one right after she lied for her in the restraining order.(may 29)Benefited from false testimony- getting big gigs after doing nothing but open mics. No youtube views. Obvious.
Nov 2 2008 5:03 AM

great workin' with ya tig - thanks again, nice riff with "sparkles


Her blogs etc.- admissions of false allegations, memory problems, morality problems ect.
False Allegations.
in unrelated news, my plan to start a band fell apart. turns out our lead guitarist was on smack. i'm not even really sure what "smack" is exactly, but i know that she was on it because people said things like, "i literally think she's on smack." i still hear from our night ranger-style singer/drummer laura silverman daily accusing me of firing her and demanding to be back in the band.

.. git!martha and i worked really hard on the crackpot tour. this means that basically she was in a constant state of panic but signed all of her emails to me with "can't wait. this is gonna be great." lied until it was true

its just a rumor, so you best start gettin excited. a few years back, i stopped cycling. not intentionally, it just happened. maybe you never even knew i cycled at all. if that's the case, then boy do you have some catching up to do. anyway, i would do local rides and long distance rides. other countries, state to state, down to the beach and back or just to the store to buy a new purse or a fun shade of lipstick. i have been missing cycling so much. there is a great deal of focus in cycling. every monday and friday morning, before my friend stef goes to work (around the corner from my house), we take walks around town or down by the ocean together and discuss all things. i'd say they are interesting conversations, but i can't help but dread the thought of ever having to read a transcript of our talks.

was about me going back to my hometown in mississippi after the hurricane and living w/my family in the destruction, with day to day old family issues causing flashbacks from my past

i'll see what i can remember. i have a horrible memory and tend to get easily distracted. it's not always the best thing to take walks down memory lane w/me. it's not horrible, it's just not always great. chances are, you don't even look remotely familiar to me and your name does not ring any name bells. this includes immediate family members too. here we go w/memory lane 2 or so weeks back. my friend tommy came into town and stayed with me for several days.

Morality problems

it's a lovely time, really. the dvd "operation googsie" will be for sale one day w/all money going to charity OR right up my nose. i haven't decided yet..... in other hurricane news, a little over a year ago, hbo had approached me to pitch/develop a show with them. the show i worked on
.kyle was telling me last night that they are as lucky to have me as i am to have them. he's a

Kyles a nice friend. you need people around you that are THAT comfortable with lying right to your face

Manipulates Martha- last on list and only “likes her.” Etc.
it was written by my good friends tom sharpe (i love you tom) and martha kelly (i like you martha).

you'll also see chris fairbanks, scott aukerman, bj porter, ruby wendell, joe wagner, martha

Prone exaggeration and no regard for truth

kyle and i are still writing like crazy. crazy being like 2 or 3 times a week. it usually takes us a good 2 hours before we start actually writing because we like to gossip about ourselves to one another and then we usually eat a nice healthy raw meal. this makes me happy and it makes him complain about starving and then he usually heats up a pizza at 3am and complains about eating a pizza at 3am and how i should have stopped him. we have about 10 sketches/shorts we are hoping to get filmed in the months to come. "months to come" could mean whatever you want it to. i want it to mean "soon." i'm leaving for new york in a couple of days. i'm really excited about hanging out w/my nyc folk. i have very little time and it will no doubt be spent w/kevin williams, dave hill and nick kroll. it's hard going to different cities all the time because i know so many people. memory lane-type stuff comes up. i'm not always good at it knew that

From interview- intimidating martha
Tape wheezy swish youtube.= show notaro’s demeanor





























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