Wednesday, May 14, 2008

american idol and serial crimes in heaven

I sort of suspected that blogging would take time away from my serial killing. I can't say i miss the bloodshed and human devaluation that is part and parcel(wha?) of killing individuals en masse. What I miss most is the pure uncerebral nature of some of the crimes. That moment, where you decide that a person isn't fit to live is so... soothing. So final. So necessary in its unessecariness. And, I'm not talking about the moment of murder. I am not your typical serial killer, or so I hope. I give my victims every chance to humanize themselves to me and only when I am convinced that understanding or redemption isn't plausible do I sieze the moment to rid the world of them. It is rare that a serial killer or a soccer mom not to mention a serial killing soccer mom has a facility with language and can write a memoir worth reading. I am not bragging or saying that mine is worth reading or that I have a facility with language, as that might alienate readers who hate braggarts, what I am saying is that my story hasn't been "done." I offer a fresh perspective on the serial killing arts . Profilers will hang their heads in shame when they realized what label whores they've been when they read about my methods and my reasoning-- in short, my "truth."
There is now a show called "how evil" or maybe " degrees of evil." on the new tru(formerly court) tv and there is a man deemed a specialist on how evil certain famous and obscure criminals are. Amazing that such a specialty exists, and that someone hired someone for that job, and then managed to get it on TV. Sadism and stabbing is worse than heat of the moment asphyxiation, blah blah blah. DUH. Random torture is more onerous than slaying for insurance but less evil than random rape and torture. blah blah blah and Duh.

I'm not even disagreeing with these assessments by the expert on evil. My point is that it is so so much more than that. My daughter just came to me and said, "mommy, I have to write an essay in school about my idea of what heaven is." I usually would tell her to go tell the nanny or my husband about it but , today, I gave her my attention and even offered to write it for her. You see, lately, I've been thinking of what my own view of heaven is, and no one is asking me to write about it.
My view of heaven seen through the prism of my 33-39 years is that heaven is a place where all those who hurt you or those who became your enemies get to see in a flash of insight who you are and visa versa. In this heaven there is no storming off, or hanging up, or deleting your e-mail, or getting a restraining order, or your day in court. The results of these "mediations." soon or immediately make clear that everything bad that transpired after the fact is really just a big misunderstanding. Those you loved were loved for a reason and those you disliked, liked etc, are the concern of those who love them. So, it wouldn't be a lengthy process and you wouldn't have to have peace accords with everyone you've come across on earth. And all the times when you wake up in the middle of night and you'd wish you'd never wake up again, those people are there, the one's you've loved, and they understand. Of course, divorce and separation, in this heaven, can't happen because the initial truth that came with the warmth and goodness you felt towards the other, can never morph into the big lies of pettiness and spite, that closed the matter. Understanding is the most exalted of qualities and success without it is failure and fame isn't sought because understanding that you are above the fray is understood. so little of this is of interest to the soccer mom or serial killer and yet it is what comes to mind when I have to think of heaven.

Oh well. I think that was a bit too short for a term paper, and it certainly is no thesis and my daughters teacher will be freaked out if she hands it in...

That was so off topic that Miss Alli herself would ban me if she read my blog. For those who don't know who Miss Alli is -- she is the stern taskmaster of the TWOP forums. And for those who don't know what TWOP is it is an acronym for Television without Pity
a very successful website that lets folks throughout the world, "snark." about tv shows. That's a decent synopsis of it but one has to see it to believe it. Whole segments of the population compose lengthy, even thoughtful posts about every tv show in existence. Linear thinking and presentation are encouraged and many will write their posts like this, say for instance, American Idol:

screename: liveslifesnark

Jason Castro: Ugh. Hasn't met his potential for weeks now. I hate Slackers and him and Kristy Lee Cook should look into Euthanasia, because I want them dead. I'm a shut in so I can't kill them myself.

Micheal Jons:
Aussies can handle rejection. I'm not worried about my tv boyfriend. If we hadn't moved on from EEEEEEE and it didn't remind how wrong I was about Justin Guarini, I would EEEEEE right about now. He has the x and it factor tied up, charisma for miles. my panties are in a bunch.Love him.

Syesha: catsfancies, Word on Syesha being the poorman's beyonce.Such a poseur. me and mr. catsfancies call her propecia.

Archuletta: You owe me a wireless keyboard, mikeslikendislikes. So true that he is a typical abused child and has that " don't slap the crap outta me" face. I was abused and have that expression.

Okay, so here is Where Miss Alli and one of her many minions come in. For instance:

liveslivesnark: We are not her to discuss if he has the face of an abused child. Stick to the topic or I'm shutting the whole thread down.

Liveslivesnark: Sorry, Miss Alli, Word on your thinking that Carly looks like she's taking a dump when she sings.

This is just a small sample but my point is that I am very grateful that Miss Alli doesn't run my life or my blog. My intention for this post was to talk about Delmont Klein and the great divide between passion and pride but I totally forget about that. Soon taters.

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