Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Mommy, Controversy, Labels that belabor, muffins and so on.

Mommy Henya, of course, doesn't know about his blog but she just walked by the monitor and saw my profile picture and she said, "why do you put yourself in such darkness." and I said, "Because I'm a serial killer." and she laughed because she thinks I am kidding. Mommy Henya says things that tickle me to the marrow, constantly. I mentioned in a previous post that she said she was "deaf in her right... leg." Yesterday, I gave her a foot massage and she said how good it was and I said, "how is your hearing?" Without a beat she said, " I still can't hear in my left leg."

She is convinced that Christian De la Fuente from Dancing with the stars is a "bandit who got a cortisone shot and is just using it to win." Mommy Henya went on about her two torn ligaments on her legs and how she walks on them and De la Fuente shouldn't make such a fuss. Then, she threatened to convert to catholicism to show the jews how lousy they were to us in our time of need , and then she told me that if the prices keep getting worse we should grow tomatoes. The tomatoes thing is more absurd that it may seem to the casual observer. Common wisdom might fight it creepy to call one's mother(or adoptive mother) mommy but i never said i wasn't creepy.
Libby is on the phone. According to her, Molly, wants to join us in our muffin business. Molly is a good name to attach to a muffin business so I said okay. She's going to make lychee muffins. I can just feel it in the air- the lowfat yogurt craze is winding down but lychee and mochi will survive either way. I predict that frozen yogurt with a berry theme has reached its saturation point and will soon dissapear.
I have been too busy with lifestyle maintenace to blog about my thoughts and feelilngs and all the ephemera and effluvia that builds up and must be released.

According to my research, tea, is the wave of the future and "tea houses." are going to be the place to bring one's laptop and meet one's social circle. It is what happened on "Friends." and so it shall be. I brew a mean tea and feel hopeful that I will be able to refer to myself as an entrepeneur very shortly.

Syesha is finally gone. I like both Davids. But, since I hear whispers of the Archulletta boy being an abused child, I want him to win and be saved somehow. He seems a sweet mess and I wish him well. I find David Cook to be one of the smart and special ones(also jason castro, brooke) and I'd love him to win too. I find the episode where the top 3 go to their hometowns particularly depressing. Who are this people in hysterics over strangers? Makes me want to live on a farm, far away from fans. What an ugly word to me, "fan."

You see I wanted to talk about religion and christ and judaism and crucifixion and the jarring insights that I had about that just yesterday. But, until my readership reaches a hearty 200 hits i feel it best to discuss current events and such. Obama? I present to my community as a supporter. Frankly, everyone in my gated nabe has garnered enough wealth to not really be affected by any candidate. I mean there is always the chance that the riff raff will go all Versaille on us so it's best to supply them with adequate social services. That's my take.
But, my real affinity is for Hillary. I find the woman fabulous. I like her overbite and her voice and her strongness and I desperately want her to beat that silly Obama. i find Obama sort of completely absurd as a candidate. I feel like I am about as qualified as him and I don't think any one would vote for me for president. There is not the slightest racial motivation for this opinion. I simply can't believe he could keep a straight face around rev. Wright for 20 years. Rev. Wright wears an illfitting dashiki and gets all george jefferson when he is so inclined. "His been there done that" conspiracy theories don't endear him to me either. I have no doubt that if paternalistic leftists weren't in charge of the media, Rev. Wright would be presented to the public as a complete joke. Ooh, i smelt a contoversial opinion, and I think that will hasten my success as a blogger.

Men who hate Hillary have mother issues and arguing with them would be fruitless. Oh my, I am bored with myself and my suppositions and surmises and conjectures. I expound and I try to be profound and lah di dah. Fans of the true crime genre will wonder why I am not discussing my bountiful criminal past and present. I am the one and only blogger who is both a soccer mom and a serial killer and who has named her blog accordingly. I don't blame them for thier displeasure. I anticipated that my willingness to out myself as a soccer mom and serial killer would draw a vivacious and vocal readership. I anticipated wrong(LOL) and Delmont Klein is not being exposed and exalted as I'd hoped. So, as you can see, I am deflated. I will post a childrens poem that Delmont wrote and never tried to publish. He mistakenly thought that time was on his side. he told me it wasn't about him but I'm not so sure. May he rest in peace.

A boy named Stall

Let me introduce you all
To a boy named

when it was
He’d say he’d do it in the fall

Fall would come as a rule

And Stall would say,
By winter everything will be cool.

winter was only a few
shorts months away
And stall was sure as sure
That till then
he could dream and play

One significant day
He had a nightmare

where he saw himself as
moldy clay
being eaten by a vulture
He woke up screaming.
I will use the clay to make to make--
the most beautiful sculpture.

He’d start tomorrow
he went back to sleep
Dreamt of his tombstone's inscription:
--Stall didn’t sow and Stall didn’t reap

in a cliche of cold sweat,
he awoke
fearing for this cruel fate
he spoke:
Can't be, Can't be

I'll cease today to procrasitnate
along the way
he was forced to see
that judgements got passed
Without the opportunity
Enter a plea

time to move, not sit.
Possibilities were endless
But time -- not infinite

Stall jumped off his bed
so much potential
it was painful to ponder
He felt grateful that at least his name
wasn’t squander.

I will do .I will do.
he would sing
And predictable like the change of seasons
winter came along with reasons
To save himself for spring

He’d be a star oneday
He just needed to find his own
right way
All play and no work
had made everyone and himself
think of him as a jerk

My responsibilities I shall not shirk
Was what he thought next
But thoughts like words
are useless

in his
current context.

See, stall did have all the gifts god does bestow
But he’d looked the gifthorse in the mouth
And instead of a friend, it became his foe.
he didn’t know
that his life wasn’t a gift

but a loan
And when payment came due
It wan't prudent to postpone.

He wondered, if he ,
running from
rather than
-- out of luck.
200 seasons passed and stall still
stayed stuck

If a moral to such sad stories
must be sought
Dreams not chased
will never
get caught.

Post a Comment

Stef Willen's Disaster, Literally.

In the history of publishing, there is a fascinating history of memoirs that get pulled from publication, after an eagle eyed reader or rea...