Saturday, May 16, 2009

The blog post to end all blog posts.and all that ails society etc.

I blame it all on Twitter. How is my blog supposed to take off when the world now has dutifully gone to TWEET? Sure, Sure, I'll take responsibilty and own up and whatnot and so forth but still ... It is very possible that the failure of this blog doesn't rest with me. I mean I pretty much figure out the autism and add and adhd "issue" right here and still I have to fight for my 5.000 hit goal by may 24th.

For those who missed my theories on the root causes of supposed disorders such as Autism and ADD I will repeat them as you shouldn't have to scroll nowadays.

Autism- Baby in the womb. Gets wind of widgets, then gets wind that myspace must be divorced and start new relatioship with Facebook. Then, current baby in womb gets wind that Facebook can no LONGER suffice. Needs not even known suddenly exist and must be met. There must and shall be an exodus to Twitter and the quest for "followers" rather than "friends." The suicide rate among teens is tripling, btw. The baby in the womb just might have gone with it's mother to Best Buy and realized that all systems have been upgraded once again.The baby might sense that Blu Ray wasn't meant to be and maybe he shouldn't be meant to be either. The fetusish baby makes a personal lifestyle choice- Autism.

ADD or ADHD- Same concept except the cat's out of the bag, so to speak. The baby has no choice but to go outside, and is now forced to Keep up. Before the internet LCD's in every home era-- ADD was called hyperactiviy and it seemed to only affect a few characters. Maybe if we just changed energy related diagnosis's to "more spirited than the average bear" things wouldn't seem so bleak.
So now we have this awful post post modern time and the teen or whatever has to choose between Reddit and Wingwong and Bilabong and Stumbleupon and Weezer and just a year ago that wasn't as much a problem and the future promises more of the same but even more of the same and CRISIS and the search for Diagnosis's and the invention or updation of new Criteria and the confusion that results when comorbidity is always a possibility and Pfizer is working on it and there you go. If Pfizer fails than Eli Lilly might not and hope stays alive (even after Obamas out of office.)

I have a solution for it all and it doesn't involve a cure(though that is being worked on). I am starting up a new world where every group is placed in a more hospitable environment according to his presumed diagnosis. This won't be restrictive as free choice is mandated but I have concluded that the world is not hostpitable to a large enough percent of the population and I have the solution. I would be misusing and abusing the spirit of Twitter by putting it there over the course of a whole day and night rather that at once so you will have to stay tuned to this blog if you want a better life and such.

no one will read this because of said pandemic of attention deficit or swine flu hysteria and again I choose not to take the blame.
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