fundamental memories

I told myself to keep going going blogwise, and I'll somehow get a sign that its not a total crock, and today I finally got some comments. Thanks to all who did so! I will go there personally when I get a chance.

Aside of that cheering occurence, this blog feels really absurd. I am literaly in need of help and shreiking out to the void and I'm feeling like a cyberversion of Kitty Genovese. To look at the pages and pages of no comments is like looking at some stark artwork.

Tuesday Feature


News stories from youth that you remember most:
I also vividly remember Guyana because I was 9 and my sister 11 and we were in Israel and we found a hidden Newsweek in my parrents room-- the one with bloated dead bodies on the cover. Till today if I look bad in jeans or my sister does we say " guyana." Black humor. no desire to offend.
We thought it was sweet that mommy and Daddy tried to protect us but we'd already snuck in the movie Sybil ( which i now see was a crock) and Jaws, other things and I doubt that had a particulary scarring affect on our already scarred young psyches.
Then i remember very vividly the NY blackout and the son of Sam killing because we were also in Israel and felt very relieved that we'd been spared both. This is definately a topic for conversation and I guesse I should go to some message board somewhere because I keep meeting people who have nothing interesting to say.


I was told that on Friday two police were at my door(by the manager) and they are just harrassing us at this point. How do they justify this bullshit to themselves is now less interesting than how they will justify this to a jury.
 I don't get their strategy at all and I don't get why they do nothing but complicate this quagmire or in other words: Multiply the losses.

Back to Kitty Genovese and why after all these years she is showing up on my blog:


Remember that story? Happened in Queens, NY, where I grew up. That story plus the 6 million murdered jews, you know occupied many of my thoughts.  Not sure if by then I knew about Mengele.

How could those people not pick up the phone to call the police. What kind of scary savages existed in the adult world(I was stuck then in the world of children savages) that would not thrill in the opportunity to save this woman. Not in a thrill thrill way-- in a way that you are given a chance to something you must do and it's a gift that you are able to do it way. I knew I would call and so would everyone in my family and Kitty Genovese did not get us that night but an aparment building filled with... the iciest of apathies. That verbiage in no way expresses the unflowery truth: The world is filled with those who do not lose sleep for doing terrible things to others and Kitty Genovese died in the  worse possible(spiritually) way.)

I had a Kitty Genovese moment this year and I didn't fail but it didn't end well either. Later on that. (See post about the murder next door for reference) That's some story.

The stories are getting more and more detailed and they are writing themselves. There is a new angle everyday(see scott boxenbaum posts for reference) But, the fact that my next door(3 feet away) neighbor murdered the handyman and shot three bullets in our house while we were home and absolutely in bullet's reach  is excessive story wise.  In the midst of so much -- this happens and the way it happened. STORIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Google Nattie Kennebrew if any curiosity.

Anyway, working on another motion to dismiss and had to get some non legal talk out somehow. Thanks for listening, blog.