Sunday, September 20, 2009

book, tv, screenplay or just ulcers

 I had this dream I was doing comedy and killing(comedywise) and all the people I'd invited over the years were there and my family,  and I woke up and I couldn't believe what an unthinkable thing has happened and how it hasn't ended. 

I thought of it as a sceenplay and it was too nutty- Sociopathic comedian born at the bottom of the barrell-  climbs and climbs- it's looking good for her, but  then one day just makes up a story to get attention-- Munchausen By Proxy-- or something else-- and she creates a boogey man out of this person who truly keeps to herself and never picked on anyone etc, but that isn't interesting to this comedian - the only thing she cares about is herself-- and woe be to anyone who dare protest.
This comedian doesn't have consciencse and she goes from town to town telling jokes oblivious to the fact that she's committed crime after crime, morally and legally.
Meanwhile all the C list of alternative comedy are doing everything to get involved  in this mess, cause the sociopath got to the higher rungs of  this alternative comedy scene and theses loser see getting involved in whatever capacity as a stepping stone.  They start defaming and they feel that their prospects are now less dim... Surely, the sociopath will reward them soon.

I stopped there because it sounded just too absurd --a comedian who causes such misery to another for no undestandable reason. And, people who use Humor to try and make it,  surely can't be such grim and depressing characters.  And, the corrupt cops and prosecutors-- No way that this shit could really have happened. The Jessner ex parte, the Kalpakian competency scam-- The undercover tape, the refusal of the clerk to file your motions. The fact that they know the meeting in 95 is cancelled but don't bother telling you. The way all the comedians used to look at you and how they reacted to you before you even knew what was done to you.  No way!!!!!!! The mayor's sister, All judges appointed by Shwartenegger, Nazarian, the three ring folder? The clerk fearless in the face of such corruption? Can't be.

It would have to be a documentary. That would be hard. Nah, these want to be's  wouldn't talk because they were so sicking of climbing ladders to nowhere and paying dues without interest,
 and they'd done the math-- the sociopath is friends with the talk show host and his ex and you?
Unknown quantity.
So you try fictionalizing again -the script would write itself-- you have the cop who is about 34 years old yet already shot a guy and the guy is suing him from prison and this cop has no luck cause 9 years later this guy in prison is still going after him and then he gets you and your family.
Now he works with a bogus hollywood unit where the goverment wagers all dream of retirement with those security firm that cater to the stars. There's a fortune to be made if a law firm steers one of their celebrities your way.
They don't know or care about "stalking" but they do care about hitting the big time -- an early retirement. and getting to meet all those famous people.
The Dr. Phil of stalking (gavin debecker)will certainly give them more of a chance if Marty says they complied with his wishes. Meanwhile a shady investigator is linked to all of it. What are the chances?


Before you could catch a breathe this fat crazed ex washington aide/ curator of a low level comedy shows  sees an opening and literally pounces. She admits it all in e-mail but it won't be as easy as it should be because Sievers is poisoning the sewers left and right .
Then you sue, and you have a guy who is happy to hit an old holocaust survivor if the sociopath gets him better bookings. You find out that this guy   plays a sociopath on some MTV show,

Should you even bring up the little shmuck who hits pay dirt by meeting  a successful potty mouth  and Music awards host,  and this shabby shmuck  flashes himself and there is a swastika painted on his pecker. What a card!!!!!!!! Such daring!

You can't even dream yet about the sequel: The shmuck and the others days all neighbors in some rat infested hovel-- wondering why they march to the commands of some crazy lesbo.

You can't even think about covering all those nerds who run comedy boards and how they look and how they acted and how they turn out in the seque.
you have a 45 year old son of a multi millionaire and philanthropist who goes on message boards inventing vicious lies in the hopes that the sociopathic comedian gives him a gig someday.  He begs the others to shun you and ban you -- This notable comic will pay him back...  He's still waiting.
No one stands up to him they by all logic see what a creep he is -- His Singles ad:  "acomplished comedian, Picky nice shlong, BEST have a sense of humor as I am comic and will banter...

(Jesus, the wheel is waiiiiiiiiiiiting....)


You have the witness-- who can't afford to alienate the person who hasn't -- but-- who can help her maybe get out of the spirit squashing day job world. And, then there's the other two witnesses who are chomping at the bit to do whatever it takes to also get better stage time. Their careers  just won't take off -- and they are willing to try anything to get it to. Then, the other tons of clownrats waiting in the wings for the slighest breadcrumb-- look how Brian got a gig, dude.

Then the slovenly out of her mind comedy "manager" who volunteers to talk to an investigator and once she starts lying she can't stop and she messes all their stories up.
Then the same judge as OJ simpson's (currently)  who makes no great show of hiding the fact that he'll do what powerful law firms want of him. That's what got him this cushy job and no Pro per will stand in his way...

 Then, the sister of the Mayor of the California, and the former fed and the wife of a music guy who also wants to advance her career -- probably already trying to schedule  playdates with the sociopath's copyright lawyer(who now also does restraining order). The sociopath's lawyer:  " We can't get her for defamation so we'll really scare her off with this. Trust me! This slattern load talks about journeys and her environmentlal interests and meanwhile is polluting the earth day after day.
 The governor -- with all his Austrian "guilt" and his love of holocaust survivors ... . Same for the mafioso of a mayor. Both have a living one right in front of them and they are trying to finish off the job started by Adolph.
 And, then you have the other Detectives in this phony unit and they're possible struggle with the facts of the matter and their Magazine articles ,

and this Mamoth Buffet in the center of the action,  and a bull  going back and forth over and over,  and doing you know what in between...


And, then you have the cop who takes the police report when the crazed fat ex washington aide hits the victim and he is great-- so nice-- so helpful -- and then you go home and google him and he is the cop that killed the homeless indian kid down the block from you. There was flyers everywhere. What are the friggin odds?

Then you go to the emergency room and some very hick looking guy starts telling you how he has AIDS (dirty needle shooting up meth) and lymphoma and he's there for rectal bleeding and you as usual follow your inner voice(rather than those who don't understand why you give "those people" the time of day) and  you  try your best to make this dying man  feel good even though an hour into it he is saying kind of dirty or gross things and then he starts ranting about how his dad sucks and how his Dad's old lady wanted him to sign a  document that said, "Willen and Jones..."blah blah blah  and you say to this dying man(who is pretty damned dumb.) ...

Did you just say Willen??? and he says yeah, Suzy - she's got a lot of money- mother lives on Wilshire-- she's  a JEW and then he says how fat she is and you say " like how fat.." And he says, " She got an ass like a black" and you are very releived that you won't mourn his loss much now, because you were feeling very sad before he started really talking to you....

and the volunteers who stand in the emergency room are lecturing your mother how she can't be given water and they are doing it in a way that bespeaks repulsive desires for power over the sick, and these volunteers -- ouch, not the righteous -- but pretty crazy phonies who like to feel good about themselves but who are not good. This will have to be some miniseries and it's too wacky for TV.

 there is much much more, my friends.
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