Friday, September 4, 2009

lots of nothing waiting around for all

Had one of those dreams that is so real it shouldn't even qualify as a dream. Dreamt that my sister fell in love with a guy that I felt far beneath her (Namely in this dream: He had a nose from a nightmare, the strangest most unsavory looking hair imaginable and he was mean and crude) and in this dream I'm going crazy because I can't believe my sister has held out so long just to settle for this. And, the realistic part isn't the nose or the crazy hair which took on dreamlike surreality. The realistic part is that I do go crazy when I see my sister liking someone romantically that I feel is "not in her league" I pray constantly for anything to happen to make my sister happy or happier or whatever and I figure if she could fall madly in love with a genuine prince that might help... but then the frogs come ribbitting around and I freak out. Somewhat recently my sister had some crush on a guy she thought looked like Gene Hackman. My sister for reasons I still fail to understand finds Gene Hackman very very hot.

So, I meet this guy and my god he makes Gene Hackman look like .... like.... an adonis(Whatever!) and he's a writer and we look up what he wrote and it is such neauseating shit and he's published by a major house and I'm talking to this guy and he looks like Gene Hackman's excemic elbow- on a good day, and my sister has been BLINDED by something and I talk to the guy and the minute he's out of earshot I say to my sister in Hebrew-- He looks like an ugly old woman, you end up with him and you'll find me dead in an alley. And, she laughs because she knows without a doubt that I am 100 percent for her happiness.

I am not kidding though, I will expire from grief if my beautiful brilliant sister walks hand in hand with this guy. This has happened before and the last time it nearly killed me because this guy was actually a really rotten guy and when my sister confided me these feelings she was having I think I might literally have foamed at the mouth. If I was a cliche I would have knocked my head against the wall. In short: Unbearable.

My luck(Which I'm still not sure is good or bad) is that somehow something happens that makes her come around or in the case of much uglier cousin of Gene Hackman-- he was called away to New York -- and it petered out. Now,she tells me she shudders to think of his old lady face. Nothing wrong with old ladies: But on a 35 year old man!

Now, with my "relationships" she is exactly the same and I used to resent her for finding them all wretched and undoable -- as long as her baby sister is in a decent mood blah blah blah.
until this happened three times in her case in the last 5 or so years. That high horse has long rode away, as they say.

Thank god my mother hasn't shown even the slightest crush on anyone in the last 20 years!

In either case, if they are not princes or kings or aristocrats or gods than they better stay away! OR I WILL DIE IN AN ALLEY!

This goes back to my world famous Everest Theory/Revelation/Hypothesis that was generated by the unseemly prose of Delmont Klien-- and that it's either the top or nothing and the down/pit falls of that way of thinking are Obvious.
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