Truth is absolute, I can swear it's true.

When I'm in a spiritual frame of mind, I feel serenity, and I can see the cosmos stretching ahead offering up heaping doses of overdue justice. All the cool and kooky things that have happened so far get rememebered. Nothing is set in stone. Anything can happen. There is no guranteed ending to this story if you help write it.

I can see the questionable concept " What comes around, goes around," coming to pass. I see it as a very fast moving and angry boomerang.
 When that spiritual frame of mind is less strong, I  practice otherworldly levels of patience, as I contemplate all the wrongness we had to endure over nearly five years now, with no closure in sight.

This is not a degree of patience that I ever anticipated. There is something to this type of patience that bespeaks some kind of transcendence. So different from waiting for that college acceptance letter or  job offer, or waiting in line for groceries.

 This is a patience that forces you to rely on forces way outside of yourself, if you have any intention of surving the onlsaught of too many  episodes of so much seeming meaninglessness, and too many mysteries, too many crimes-- that loom as eternal cold cases.

 You  stare in to the eye of the abyss and realize that what you see is not what you get . You  better go back and look some more. And, then some more and more and more and more and more. Something like that.

So much wrongness and so much feels impossibly broken. The desire to fix it is so strong and the discord you have found between action and faith causes a tension that can be described as telekinetic. You never looked like Sissy Spaceks' Carrie and you always were so well liked. Now, suddenly you can relate to her.  You relate to the kind of rage that can set people and building on fire by concentration alone.

  At the center,  of the catastrophic mess, but not by any means the main character, is some stranger with a stupid sounding name. This symbol or person or whatever she is now in the midst of telling more lies and hurting more people and she is doing so in a public way.

 I am aware of those who says "She's not worth it" school or the " Let it go and move on" schools. Mostly, these are folks that either just like to hear themselves talk. or they don't understand that I absolutely know that she is not worth it, and that I get  the move on thing. I have never had any issue with being bothered with not worth it people, or not letting go or moving on. I have never obssessed about anything or clung to hatred or anger. This is a very particular situation and one that doesn't work well with platitudes. It is tantamount to telling a rape victim to not pursue a prosecution lest she be called obssessive. It is similar to telling a prosecutor that they are stalking a rapist because they are bringing charges. Of course, someone will say that rape is too strong a word, but anyone who knows the case, knows that it is not too strong a world at all.

The main character is the legal system in Los Angeles, if you want to be literal. The main characters are truth and justice if you want to be conceptual.
  Lavely and Singer  and those in their stead are the key players in this story. Absent the involvement of their criminal enterprise, my troubles would be over as early as May of 2008. Well, not all troubles, of course, but the legal troubles.

 A "Tig Notaro" merely was the instigator of false allegations and defamation. She merely was a comedian who had no moral compass, but also no discernible power absent the power to ruin me in the comedy world. Had she not hired Lavely and Singer she would be prosecuted for filing false reports and for perjury long ago . It would be the end of the story.
  Those in the know in the  Los Angeles legal community will know of what I speak. Those from other cities or towns may not, but they'll have to find out cause it's too wild a story to not emerge somehow. It's too against what any American expects from their legal system to be tolerated.  It's a story of corruption and injustice and how power corrupts. It's a story than the vast majority of Americans would not accept as something that is acceptable in  America.

The hold that Marty Singer has, and the things that judges, city attorney, and cops, do when Marty Singer is involved is something that must get told. The problem is that that for it to be told, in a way that allows for understanding, it will take much time and work. Sometimes I feel I have that time ,sometimes I feel so rushed and so guilty that it is taking me so long . Sometimes I feel sure that I am running out of time and have to remind myself that that doesn't make sense. I'm not very old, and I am not terminally ill, to my knowledge. I feel guilty becaues it is my responsibility when witnessing such unacceptable things to do whatever I can so it can't happen to another. For those who want to read it when it's ready. Please, give me three months.

When all is said and done(And I can't predict exaclty when that day will come) I know somehow that truth is absolute. It is ferocious even when silent.  It will conquer the massive wall of lies concocted by notaro and lavely and singer and the rest. It will smite the Gregozek and Judge Maria Stratton's of the world. It will smash the Martin Boag's and Dr. Kaushal Sharma's . OMG, there were so many. Jennifer Waxler, Kalpakian, Bernie Brown, Judge Karla Kerlin. Judge Samantha Jessner. Judge Richard Fruin, Judge Vanderet, Judge Rosenberg, Judge Mary Lou Villar, Katie Ford, Jeffrey Dunn, John Gregozek, Scott Boxenbaum.There are more and more. Of course, any reader will think how that is just too many bad people and become dismissive. I wouldn't believe it. I never was one bit paranoid or prone to conspiracy theorizing . I know now that those folks just might not be the kooks they seem on the surface. I know that without compelling evidence my story is too hard to beleive but I also want to put it out there for those who might recognize some of the names and put two and two together in the meantime.


bye now.