american idol hits to my blog, thanks.

This my friends is a hit drive. I will need 700 by sundown May 24th and it is not looking like a squeaker.

Too much to talk about since we last met dear blog. I was thinking lots of things lately but one of those that I'll share is that diaries were called dear and so why not blogs? Then this led me to an unexalted conclusion that there just used to be more respect for the written word before the written word was Word Processed. Sort of like cheese if you haven't already made that connection.

I will post my tv reviews very soon but first I will share more of my thoughts as everytime I feel it silly to do so here I get some comment from somewhere saying something encouraging. It could very well be some enemy trying to get me to keep going for sinister purposes but supsending disbelief is a neccesity, as of late.


More of my thoughts that I will share

So I'm reading a few things but one of them is an article in the New Yorker about isolation and how the American prison system uses it. Very interesting but there is a few instances where the reporter talks about how this one or that one "loses their mind." And, this made me ponder how when I was young and thougtht things more lasting I felt that my mind was here to stay but now I know that even a mind can get lost. The question becomes whether any of the people who lose their minds, find them, and if so where was the mind and what was the method of getting it back. As thorough as these New Yorker writers are relative to most magazines -- this reporter doesn't find this out and so I still must wonder about this and risk mind loss in the process.

What else, hmmm. Lots. But, posts can only be so long before norms get breached to the point of Unease etc. Hmmm.

So, is it because Adam Lambert is jewish or because he is gay? Or is it becaus Kris just was so damned likeable? Since we've had many black American idols and now a black president I wouldn't feel too comfortable talking of the prejudices of our country. I know from my own experience that Anti Semitism and homophobia is definately out there but whether that is why Adam lost is and won't ever be clear.

Adam Lambert is one tall, talented, and goodlooking Jew and that is good for the jews( who still are not in the clear, as a rule.)
And I felt more sad for Kris really because he is a smart sweet boy and he knows that his winning was suspect and my heart kind of sank for him because I knew that fame and fortune will probably cause him too much trouble. He's very goodlooking, has a pretty lovely wife and a kid, and now he will be away from that wife and kid and surrounded by woman more worldly and his wife will wonder... and it just felt scary. I never felt that before watching american Idol so ... Now, with Adam it in all probability is the best possible thing for him because this 19 entertainment thing and its cheesy claws seem something Adam can manage better without. I really liked them both and Adam, for me, in the end, didn't touch me emotionally as much as I'd like. But, it is still obvious to me that his talent was much bigger and Kris didn't get me emotionally either so whatever and blah blah and poo poo and rah rah two cents asscake.

What is going on with Oprah? Did they uncover corruption yet? Will she forever be our Queen? Answer me, blogoyavich. I mean... blogosphere.

I have come up with a sure sell social networking site idea and it is .... Myface. It is theoretically going to be a merger between the two and so there will be lots of bandwidth cleared as myspace is now an eyesore. It will lose the book part but in the end that wasn't really important to it's sucess. If anyone wants to monetize me for this idea, please do so ASAP. I have over 500 unsold ideas so feel free to send price quotes.

Okay it is now 6 A.M and I must do important things...

All my work is copyrighted and I will SUE

My goal to reach 5000 hits in 17 days seems doable but my goal to be at the forefront of the next and best revolution is not looking promising.

Hindsight is needed but without that I'll just guess that I never did get around to uploading my manifesto and so any large scale revolution was doomed to failure.

In looking at reasons for all things it isn't always easy to pinpoint what went wrong so trying ones best becomes the only real recourse.

Then again, the idea that one is trying ones best, is also ambiguous, open to interpretation, and ultimately unsatisfying so...


Allison is gone from American Idol. That's concrete. I thought she was a great girl with a voice that was impressive but not distinctive. Bully for her but I've heard that kind of voice before And, she's 16 for gods sake and I think it's time to ony let the older broken down losing hope rapidly bunch apply.

My next post will deal with my idea for a great reality show and it will be coyprighted so no one better steal it!

Mommy, Controversy, Labels that belabor, muffins and so on.

Mommy Henya, of course, doesn't know about his blog but she just walked by the monitor and saw my profile picture and she said, "why do you put yourself in such darkness." and I said, "Because I'm a serial killer." and she laughed because she thinks I am kidding. Mommy Henya says things that tickle me to the marrow, constantly. I mentioned in a previous post that she said she was "deaf in her right... leg." Yesterday, I gave her a foot massage and she said how good it was and I said, "how is your hearing?" Without a beat she said, " I still can't hear in my left leg."

She is convinced that Christian De la Fuente from Dancing with the stars is a "bandit who got a cortisone shot and is just using it to win." Mommy Henya went on about her two torn ligaments on her legs and how she walks on them and De la Fuente shouldn't make such a fuss. Then, she threatened to convert to catholicism to show the jews how lousy they were to us in our time of need , and then she told me that if the prices keep getting worse we should grow tomatoes. The tomatoes thing is more absurd that it may seem to the casual observer. Common wisdom might fight it creepy to call one's mother(or adoptive mother) mommy but i never said i wasn't creepy.

Libby is on the phone. According to her, Molly, wants to join us in our muffin business. Molly is a good name to attach to a muffin business so I said okay. She's going to make lychee muffins. I can just feel it in the air- the lowfat yogurt craze is winding down but lychee and mochi will survive either way. I predict that frozen yogurt with a berry theme has reached its saturation point and will soon dissapear.

I have been too busy with lifestyle maintenace to blog about my thoughts and feelilngs and all the ephemera and effluvia that builds up and must be released.

According to my research, tea, is the wave of the future and "tea houses." are going to be the place to bring one's laptop and meet one's social circle. It is what happened on "Friends." and so it shall be. I brew a mean tea and feel hopeful that I will be able to refer to myself as an entrepeneur very shortly.

Syesha is finally gone. I like both Davids. But, since I hear whispers of the Archulletta boy being an abused child, I want him to win and be saved somehow. He seems a sweet mess and I wish him well. I find David Cook to be one of the smart and special ones(also jason castro, brooke) and I'd love him to win too. I find the episode where the top 3 go to their hometowns particularly depressing. Who are this people in hysterics over strangers? Makes me want to live on a farm, far away from fans. What an ugly word to me, "fan."

You see I wanted to talk about religion and christ and judaism and crucifixion and the jarring insights that I had about that just yesterday. But, until my readership reaches a hearty 200 hits i feel it best to discuss current events and such. Obama? I present to my community as a supporter. Frankly, everyone in my gated nabe has garnered enough wealth to not really be affected by any candidate. I mean there is always the chance that the riff raff will go all Versaille on us so it's best to supply them with adequate social services. That's my take.

But, my real affinity is for Hillary. I find the woman fabulous. I like her overbite and her voice and her strongness and I desperately want her to beat that silly Obama. i find Obama sort of completely absurd as a candidate. I feel like I am about as qualified as him and I don't think any one would vote for me for president. There is not the slightest racial motivation for this opinion. I simply can't believe he could keep a straight face around rev. Wright for 20 years. Rev. Wright wears an illfitting dashiki and gets all george jefferson when he is so inclined. "His been there done that" conspiracy theories don't endear him to me either. I have no doubt that if paternalistic leftists weren't in charge of the media, Rev. Wright would be presented to the public as a complete joke. Ooh, i smelt a contoversial opinion, and I think that will hasten my success as a blogger.

Men who hate Hillary have mother issues and arguing with them would be fruitless. Oh my, I am bored with myself and my suppositions and surmises and conjectures. I expound and I try to be profound and lah di dah. Fans of the true crime genre will wonder why I am not discussing my bountiful criminal past and present. I am the one and only blogger who is both a soccer mom and a serial killer and who has named her blog accordingly. I don't blame them for thier displeasure. I anticipated that my willingness to out myself as a soccer mom and serial killer would draw a vivacious and vocal readership. I anticipated wrong(LOL) and Delmont Klein is not being exposed and exalted as I'd hoped. So, as you can see, I am deflated. I will post a childrens poem that Delmont wrote and never tried to publish. He mistakenly thought that time was on his side. he told me it wasn't about him but I'm not so sure. May he rest in peace.

A boy named Stall

Let me introduce you all
To a boy named
Stall

when it was
Summer
He’d say he’d do it in the fall

Fall would come as a rule

And Stall would say,
By winter everything will be cool.

winter was only a few

shorts months away
And stall was sure as sure
That till then

he could dream and play

One significant day

He had a nightmare

where he saw himself as

moldy clay
being eaten by a vulture
He woke up screaming.
I will use the clay to make to make--

the most beautiful sculpture.

He’d start tomorrow
he went back to sleep
Dreamt of his tombstone's inscription:
--Stall didn’t sow and Stall didn’t reap


in a cliche of cold sweat,
he awoke

fearing for this cruel fate

he spoke:
Can't be, Can't be

I'll cease today to procrasitnate

along the way

he was forced to see

that judgements got passed

Without the opportunity

to
Enter a plea

time to move, not sit.
Possibilities were endless
But time -- not infinite

Stall jumped off his bed
so much potential
it was painful to ponder
He felt grateful that at least his name

wasn’t squander.


I will do .I will do.

he would sing
And predictable like the change of seasons
winter came along with reasons
To save himself for spring


He’d be a star oneday
He just needed to find his own
right way
All play and no work

had made everyone and himself

think of him as a jerk

My responsibilities I shall not shirk
Was what he thought next
But thoughts like words
are useless

in his

current context.

See, stall did have all the gifts god does bestow
But he’d looked the gifthorse in the mouth
And instead of a friend, it became his foe.
he didn’t know
that his life wasn’t a gift

but a loan
And when payment came due
It wan't prudent to postpone.

He wondered, if he ,

was

running from

rather than

-- out of luck.
200 seasons passed and stall still
stayed stuck

If a moral to such sad stories
must be sought
Dreams not chased
will never

get caught.

american idol and serial crimes in heaven

I sort of suspected that blogging would take time away from my serial killing. I can't say i miss the bloodshed and human devaluation that is part and parcel(wha?) of killing individuals en masse. What I miss most is the pure uncerebral nature of some of the crimes. That moment, where you decide that a person isn't fit to live is so... soothing. So final. So necessary in its unessecariness. And, I'm not talking about the moment of murder. I am not your typical serial killer, or so I hope. I give my victims every chance to humanize themselves to me and only when I am convinced that understanding or redemption isn't plausible do I sieze the moment to rid the world of them. It is rare that a serial killer or a soccer mom not to mention a serial killing soccer mom has a facility with language and can write a memoir worth reading. I am not bragging or saying that mine is worth reading or that I have a facility with language, as that might alienate readers who hate braggarts, what I am saying is that my story hasn't been "done." I offer a fresh perspective on the serial killing arts . Profilers will hang their heads in shame when they realized what label whores they've been when they read about my methods and my reasoning-- in short, my "truth."
There is now a show called "how evil" or maybe " degrees of evil." on the new tru(formerly court) tv and there is a man deemed a specialist on how evil certain famous and obscure criminals are. Amazing that such a specialty exists, and that someone hired someone for that job, and then managed to get it on TV. Sadism and stabbing is worse than heat of the moment asphyxiation, blah blah blah. DUH. Random torture is more onerous than slaying for insurance but less evil than random rape and torture. blah blah blah and Duh.

I'm not even disagreeing with these assessments by the expert on evil. My point is that it is so so much more than that. My daughter just came to me and said, "mommy, I have to write an essay in school about my idea of what heaven is." I usually would tell her to go tell the nanny or my husband about it but , today, I gave her my attention and even offered to write it for her. You see, lately, I've been thinking of what my own view of heaven is, and no one is asking me to write about it.
My view of heaven seen through the prism of my 33-39 years is that heaven is a place where all those who hurt you or those who became your enemies get to see in a flash of insight who you are and visa versa. In this heaven there is no storming off, or hanging up, or deleting your e-mail, or getting a restraining order, or your day in court. The results of these "mediations." soon or immediately make clear that everything bad that transpired after the fact is really just a big misunderstanding. Those you loved were loved for a reason and those you disliked, liked etc, are the concern of those who love them. So, it wouldn't be a lengthy process and you wouldn't have to have peace accords with everyone you've come across on earth. And all the times when you wake up in the middle of night and you'd wish you'd never wake up again, those people are there, the one's you've loved, and they understand. Of course, divorce and separation, in this heaven, can't happen because the initial truth that came with the warmth and goodness you felt towards the other, can never morph into the big lies of pettiness and spite, that closed the matter. Understanding is the most exalted of qualities and success without it is failure and fame isn't sought because understanding that you are above the fray is understood. so little of this is of interest to the soccer mom or serial killer and yet it is what comes to mind when I have to think of heaven.

Oh well. I think that was a bit too short for a term paper, and it certainly is no thesis and my daughters teacher will be freaked out if she hands it in...

That was so off topic that Miss Alli herself would ban me if she read my blog. For those who don't know who Miss Alli is -- she is the stern taskmaster of the TWOP forums. And for those who don't know what TWOP is it is an acronym for Television without Pity http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php
a very successful website that lets folks throughout the world, "snark." about tv shows. That's a decent synopsis of it but one has to see it to believe it. Whole segments of the population compose lengthy, even thoughtful posts about every tv show in existence. Linear thinking and presentation are encouraged and many will write their posts like this, say for instance, American Idol:


screename: liveslifesnark

Jason Castro: Ugh. Hasn't met his potential for weeks now. I hate Slackers and him and Kristy Lee Cook should look into Euthanasia, because I want them dead. I'm a shut in so I can't kill them myself.

Micheal Jons:
Aussies can handle rejection. I'm not worried about my tv boyfriend. If we hadn't moved on from EEEEEEE and it didn't remind how wrong I was about Justin Guarini, I would EEEEEE right about now. He has the x and it factor tied up, charisma for miles. my panties are in a bunch.Love him.

Syesha: catsfancies, Word on Syesha being the poorman's beyonce.Such a poseur. me and mr. catsfancies call her propecia.


Archuletta: You owe me a wireless keyboard, mikeslikendislikes. So true that he is a typical abused child and has that " don't slap the crap outta me" face. I was abused and have that expression.


Okay, so here is Where Miss Alli and one of her many minions come in. For instance:


liveslivesnark: We are not her to discuss if he has the face of an abused child. Stick to the topic or I'm shutting the whole thread down.


Liveslivesnark: Sorry, Miss Alli, Word on your thinking that Carly looks like she's taking a dump when she sings.


This is just a small sample but my point is that I am very grateful that Miss Alli doesn't run my life or my blog. My intention for this post was to talk about Delmont Klein and the great divide between passion and pride but I totally forget about that. Soon taters.