Blogs, batshit, google, gawker, huffington post, manipulation for traffic

The image is a flyer from a show I did with a friend in Austin. Oddly enough the brother of Zach Galifanakis read a story and Brendon Walsh performed. Now, I see that two of them or more are connected to the vile thing that stole my constitutional rights. Well, one his her myspace friend and I talk about that down below. Subpeona is now my new favorite word.


Well, the minute I saw Sarah Palin I said to my sister that she looks like Tina fey and then I blogged about how Tina fey will either come on the show or come back on the show to play her and it won't be funny. Well, my sister tells me just now that that is so and so I've made a public prediction that came true. Yay.

I say that tina fey will either come on snl or be on snl because I simply don't know if she is still on that show. I haven't watched one minute of it in about 10 years. It's like some bad breakup and though I was committed to it for many many years the minute it was over it was over. I saw about three episodes with jimmy fallon and tina fey at the newsdesk and that was that. Jimmy fallon seems to have stepped away or been pushed away from the radar and for that I am grateful. I met tina fey before she was famous and she seemed nice and had a pleasant vibe so I don't hate her in anyway but I've never found her to be truly funny and I can't help but blame her for my breakup with snl.

Funniness and humor are a blog unto themselves. What shall I link? I must be circumpspect with my linkage. I just finished the chapter on blogging behaviors and there are so many no nos. Yawn. I have no interested in riding all roughshod on any blogger's toes, but it's very tedious to think about those who you do not know getting offended. There are these prickly characters out there who just get ticked off at the slightest breach of some supposed decorum. I no longer flinch when I'm flamed but still...

This blog business has really unearthed the exhibitionism and or voyeurism in the gerneral public that heretefore was not as known. Reality tv hinted at it but this blog phenomena really goes to show that we are species that wants to reach out and that no man is an island etc. In theory, this is a nice thing. In practice, all this self promotion and overdone networking shit is making me want to start a commune of luddites. I say let's go back to the rotary phone! It was better then. But, communes are always destined to flop because luddites like anyone eles don't get along for long. A commune of goodlooking fogey luddites with the gift of gab?

Anyone?

I must be past the age but I can't see any joy in myspace or facebook or twitter or even blogs. I like info and I love researching and learning new things, but I have no real desire to show off pics to strangers or to pretend I have over 100 friends while knowing that most are barely aquaintances and that when I meet flesh and bloods, they don't seem too feel much differently.

I think the idea of the blog as an egalitarian tool to get one's message out to the masses without having to hire a webmaster is excellent. What I don't like is that, like all good things, it tends to change for the worse rather than the better. All these overwhelming inventions by faceless nameless geeks and day by day the internet progresses while the world seems to rot. Laptops and coffee and no conversation at coffee buzz, and lousy movies, and books bending towards obsolescence, and advertising creeping into every stinking crevice of our lives. And to those who say I can turn it off: I cannot turn off a billboard or a bus that's side reminds me that Will Ferrel is a huge star. And, I can't afford the luxury of Tivo and if I did it would take me from 6-9 months to figure it out. Is there really such a demand for free credit reports? What is up with that? How rich is that young lad who sings the too catchy " free credit report dot com." What's his story?

The cost of doing la comedia all over N.Y and Austin and L.A is that I recognize plenty of people in the commercials. Luckily, none I have any problem with, but imagine if you are the ex of the credit report dot com kid and you get attacked by that 98 times a day( if you are doing your darnest to avoid it) 234 times a day if you are not quick with the remote.

Just hearing on the news that Google is apolitical but that it has many liberal users. WTF?

All this bullshit is making me batshit crazy.

Batshit crazy?? Is the shit of the bat laced with some special kind of crazy?

well, now that I think I'm on some feed there's my rant of the day. I have over 4,000 ready to go so don't fear any burnout, my friends.

I just heard from the sweetest of couch yams that clooney said something controversial. I'll wait to hear and then let my blood simmer down before I go off on this George clooney.

feng shui and me, pedestrians and other keywords that will garner hits to my blog

I thought I felt some mojo today, but it's since gone away. I woke up and I could feel this solid grasp of conviction-- I was going to have a successful blog!

It has been over an hour and once again I'm finding consciousness to be quite challenging. I feel as if something is wrong with all the feng shui in my life. I think something about the way my living room goes with my kitchen and how those intersect with the garage and then with the Los angeles boulevards and avenues is screwing up my internal gravity somehow. I'm starting to think that the only way to even find the slighest semblence of my missing center is to move to a real city. I grew up in "real cities." I hadn't been to a fake city till I was 23 years old and I'm starting to suppose that I need to get back to a city with a proper downtown.


In N.Y, sure there were minuses, but if you're going to be a rat in this race, it's better to have a more obvious maze. Out of door-left, right, left- garage- go to drivers side. move car around in way that it faces south or north or west or east and then left on . too many twists and turns to get to Ralphs no less to get to pilates in Los feliz. too many chances for the compass to break down.

Is that what makes a city a city or a city a great city? the sense of center. I'm sure it's been discussed at length somewhere and I'm sure it was and will be discussed with more clariy. Still, that should't stop me. So, is that why Calfornia was/is at the forefront of "finding one's center." With very few exceptions, most of American is spread out and impossible to maneuver without a car. But, mix the social pressure for "introspection," that is central to the California "lifestyle." blah blah punshit. Add that to abstract yet cloying pressure to "seek" and you get stuck at the clogged and smoggy intersection that is my my present internal lanscape .

Then there is the glaring absence of pedestrians: No one here but the homeless are keeping slim by walking. Take a car to the gym where you can walk on a moving belt. Obvious and not meant to be some peircing satire, this. But, a city of millions of souls that rarely feel there bodies moving in thier natural habitats. It must be not good for the soul or the body. When I first moved here I tried my best to walk, but after being solicited for sex on one too many occassionas I too considered the benefits of the elliptical trainer vs strolling.
Sure, there are some pedestrians but they are so defensive and I can sense them strolling defiantly when they want to briskly cross the street. Every pedestrian here takes on a ratso rizzo quality. "I'm walkin hea!"
Jaywalking is a punishable offense in L.A and so the feeling of being de-balled happens every time a completely deserted corner needs to get crossed. That very well might be one of those "just me." situations. But I chafe like crazy everytime I have to fear a jaywalking ticket. as a wealthy women it wouldn't affect me but i don't want to deal with some lapd type if I don't have to. So I push that walk button way too many times and try to look as undaunted as possible. There is without a doubt a stronger sense of fascism here than in N.Y. In N.Y I never had to pay any mind to the police. They seem much more of a presence here and the absurd amount of donut shops only lends credence to my paranoai.

Ah, Paranoia. Something a bit onomotopeia about that word come to think of it. I can't spell either, I fear.
there is always the strong possibility that if you're feeling paranoid and you listen to others and they will certainly say, "you're just being paranoid." and you will get paranoid that you've become a paranoid, and there is the distinct possibility that that uncertainty will creep in ( Am I paranoid or is my gut telling me the truth?) and the very real chance that you will become a patsy.

So, you're either a sucker or a crazy and mostly you can't win. The older I get the more I know this. You can't win... most of the time. Still, I see myself as a winner. Just do. Always have. Despite a recent long run of losses and dissapointments i maintain that I am the top of the heap, cream of the crop, as are the spinsters, mommy henya, and anyone who associates closely with us.

Egotism or self confidence? delusion or demonstrability? Who knows!

Well, I've gone off the rails again and my initial intention for this blog post is lost to me too. I can't even remember. I swear.


I did have some theories on the creative artist and despair but it deserves it's own fresh entry so I'll try to get it out later today to my existing but nevertheless unsatisfying readership. who are you? Are you yawning when you read it? Are you skimmming? do you click on the link, see the ramblings and run off? Do you enjoy it on any level? Do you gasp with pleasure or writhe with pain? I just can't know and it frustrates me.

Very soon, i'm sure, I'll hit upon a unifying theme but till then taters, later.