Monday, May 19, 2008

fools paradise

Well, the muffin business is on the rocks. Pomegranate and the other exotic fruits are not heating well.
molly and libby are proving insufferable and controlling. Oh no! I promised myself not to use useless words such as "controlling." I am reading a book called "Fools Paradise." and it takes on the whole self help genre and it is heartening as well as fascinating. I've been very interested in this since I met someone who ascribed to therapyspeak and threw out diagnosis's at me left and right. I felt this intense resistance and frustration. It was as if a scientist looked through his microscope and though there were 1000's of molecules he only noticed one. I am not finding that too apt an analogy but I have cramps. Suffice it to say, I wish for the elimination of words like boundaries, space, controlling, issues- all existentially invalid in that they just scramble your head and can ruin your life. Dr. Phil is the most obvious benefactor of this doublespeak but their are hordes of women throughout Northern California and Oregon and Part of S. California and other places( where sandals and fleece are ubiquitous,) who are earning their livelihoods by spouting doomed promises and offering solutions that can't be sought. Wholeness , wellness, happiness , off kilter centers and repaired chakras are unfixable and unfindable, and the search party is logging too many hours when they could be finding things that can be found.

. One of the sisters told me how when she was in Northern California and she went for a free consultation with a therapist recommended by her romantic partner.( There is such a glut of M. S. W's in that area that free consultations are offered, competition is beyond fierce.) So, she went and saw a woman who dressed in the way the liberal leaning do, and her apartment/office was decorated in a way that was completely congruous to the way she dressed etc. Is there such word as congruous? i know there is incongruous, it seems only natural that a word such as congruous exists. She didn't look bright, the spinster noticed, but the spinster sister pretended to take her seriously. The spinster sister unloaded some of the things that were burdening her and by the end of that 40 minute session, this M.S.W had all the answers-- get rid of your family(toxic) get rid of your romantic partner( possibly toxic, probably toxic) and live alone. No joke. How does the human brain respond to words like "toxic." My brain goes, uh, uh, these people that I love for thousands of days and that love me are reduced to one word by a woman who has a degree in social work? The sister never went again and spared herself talk of how her boundaries and space were invaded and how everyone but she was controlling and to take back the night and the day and to even take back the afternoon, and trust only this woman with her clogs and comfy slacks and dumb eyes, who can't even manage to get paid for the visit. But, the sister is smarter than the average bear and almost never buys into fads or fandom. When she went to a hypnotist to quit smoking they told her she was incapable of being suggestible.
The romantic partner I'm sure had anticipated that she'd be rid of the "controlling" family, and herself would be spared the label of toxicity but this toxic thing is intoxicating and is thrown out willy nilly. The romantic partner was most displeased yet still goes to therapy and year by year visualizes more and does less.
The spinster sister was able to escape all of this Northern California idiocy in one piece, but she still marvels how many seem to buy into this bullshit. The new age and the post modern give me the creeps and I think we need to leave those behind as ideologies as failed as communism. Read "Fools Paradise," please.
That all had so little to do with anything I wanted to discuss with you all. this all stems from finding out that Molly's daughter, brig solano, is reading and re-reading a book called . "My mom is a narcissist, and I'm pissed." It guarantees that your mother and others will become expendable or your money back. It even tells you the easiest and fastest way to change your phone number and reroute any mail from toxic people to a recycling center or compost heap. It has a whole chapter called. " I am an eraser and you are lead, invade my space and to me you're dead." A mind exercise where you must will yourself to have ear plugs in your ears without having ear plugs really in your ears was particularly disturbing.
Brig came to help out with the muffins and I said, " Brig be careful they're hot." and she said, "I will not be controlled, get off my boundary." she threatened to get a restraining order when I offered her my sweater when i saw her shiver. Brig, Brig, Brig-- you are so poisoned. It's not too late. You were such a sweet child. Jim Jones gave them kool aid. Dr. Phil and his ilk gives you chai java mocha etc.

Listening to the new song by carin bedlam who still is unsigned:


Diary or diatribe?
Blogger or frustated scribe?
oh baby I won't whine
things are rough, but i am fine.
hours stretch
and minutes swell
ain't his heaven
ain't this hell

the rose and it's thorn
as symbol overused
to the point of corn
so I'll say
hey hey hey hey
go away
foreshadows and portent
bare me only gifts
bearing the address:
heaven sent.

Doggerel, but the melody and beat makes it nice. she wrote it in less than a minute so don't judge.
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