Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Bill rocks and is awesome

Bill at the liquor store always cheers me up. Mind you, I often buy my cigarettes at this liquor store and seldom buy liquor. I don't like liquor, really. I hate the taste and my body is not strong enough for hangovers, any longer. But, once in while sure I need all the help I can get. Mainly though, the liquor store is where I get my cigarettes. And, mind you I've cut down tremendously in the last 3 months.

But, that is written because when you get so misunderstood you find yourself explaining yourself for no good reason.

Anyhow, Bill is Lebanese and Bill keeps cheering me up. Because Bill keeps telling me about his "problems" and I appreciate it. I like Bill more than 99 percent of the people I meet in L.A and Bill and me are both having ISSUES.

Bill as you know made the mistake of asking a call girl what she did and this made the call girl angry and bill even angrier. Well, now Bill showed me text messages from his downstairs neighbor and I laughed and laughed and I thought some things are funny and some things are ... so fucking funny. See, Bill told me that as a part of polite conversation and this neighbor expressing her status as a "foodie" that one day she should try one of Bill's mothers dishes as she is a good cook blah blah blah perfunctory politeness. Bill apparently lives with his mother but in that good way because Bill is good.

So, Bill tells me how like a month ago he made this off the cuff statement and now this neighbor is up at this house every single day and she is eating large quantities of his mothers dishes . So much "tabouleh" according to Bill that the mother turned blue from an ashthma attack. He told me " Do you know what it is to be blue from Asthma and now she is in the hospital."
Bill doesn't know what to do. I wisely told Bill that he must be firm and he once again showed me these text messages where this tabouleh hound is saying

"You are awesome"

"What's for dinner?"

Bill wisely concluded that you simply can't be nice or trust anyone nowadays and I laughed and laughed as I remembered my foiled attempts at altruism. So many! Ha ha. No good deed does go unpunished. Ha ha. sob. sob. racking sob.

Anyway, Bill is a good guy and now his mother is blue from asthma and this "taker" is eating all their tabouleh.

Ha ha. Racking sob. Whooping cough. Blue from Ashthma.
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