Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Cured Cancer Comedian, Anti Free Speech activist,Tig Notaro, and new lady love, Missi Pyle, endorse Carmen Trutanich for mayor of Los Angleles, in rambling statement

Since this blog is 96, on the blog toplist, I have generously offered this space to first release this big news. When one breaks a 100 on the blog top list it's time to give back.

The big news:
Cancer entrepreneur, Tig Notaro, and her newest prey, Missi Pyle(I learned this due to 4 searches on stat counter btw) have taken a break from their relentless self promotion schedules to take a stand on local politics. Notaro became very impressed with Mary Lou Villar, the sister of Mayor Villargrossa , and with the office of the City Attorney, and the DA too, when they worked with her to maintain her liberty and her career at the request of her awesome lawyers at Lavely and Singer. By merely paying Allison Hart an hourly fee, Notaro, learned the easy way that she could own the whole L.A legal system.  Notaro plans to endorse Judge Richard Fruin for President of the Bar, and the country, in the coming months, too.

Judge Richard Fruin, has been an amazing asset to her assets, and her ability to stay prison free, as well as to allow her web of lives to keep destroying more lives.  Notaro is donating a penny from every hundred dollars she makes to their campaigns. Without Dick Fruin's awesome complicity in the Los Angeles Superior Court Rackets, Notaro would be more cooked than a three day old Rotisserie chicken at Ralph's. Notaro  recognizes that, and wants to pay it forward, the minute her efforts to extricate herself from her recalcitrant state of obscurity, permit some down time. Hang on Judge Richard Fruin, you evil and  disgusting old man, Tig Notaro, and the cabal at the Office of the City attorney is forever in your debt. When John Gregozek ,Jeffrey Dunn,and James Hoffman get demoted to traffic cops, they will not write you a ticket. Just remind them who you are. Tell them how you screwed Alisa, Lauren and Henya Spitzberg  in such a spectacular way. They are not intelligent men and they won't recognize you by face or name.Plus, they screwed over so many when they were a part of an "elite stalking team of detectives" and they can't often keep them straight. Kelley? Coyote? Alisa? Ummmm.Maybe,Martha Defoe, will remember who is who.

Tig Notaro's Open letter,and more advice from Mathilde "Tig" Notaro to her benefactor, Carmen " gulag for billboard owners. Death Penalty for celeb detractors,"Trutanich.

Dearest ich(I got bored with Tru and Nuch)

Tony is off to bigger and better things. And, so is his sister, Mary Lou. Look how awesome they are. But, not as amazing as you. You made sure my hero, Judge Maria Stratton, didn't even allow any bail for Alisa. How the hell did she get away with that? LOL. It's so sick and evil and Maria Elana rocks my world. I would get rid of Missi for her. Maria is ugly and mean looking like me , but her capacity for such evil turns me on. Just saying. Back to you, ich: You and I share the same disgust for free speech and I'm not ashamed of telling you that. That was a joke. Did you get it? I'm telling you about how much I hate free speech. They don't call me a comedian for nothing. I tell the joke real slow and it kills!

Mary Lou ordered her clerk, Susan Rios, to fix the minutes in my case and Mary Lou and Susan will get VIP tickets to my no moleste world tour ASAP. Truch, forget about DA and CA, it's time for you to really run L.A. Missi Pyle is nodding her agreement. Google her. She has a wikipedia like me, and she says she used to lie a lot but doesn't so much anymore, so she can be trusted to feel bad when she lies. I still always lie, but I never get caught by anyone that matters. SCORE.Anyway, I like to say I'm a private person tho I announce my cancer on stage, so I won't discuss Missi much more.  Don't get scared, Carm, about this cancer stuff. I'm cured. My stupid doctors were all wrong and I told everyone I was tragic and dying too soon.  But I won't sue these stupid doctors, them cuz why press my incredible luck.  Sooo, I'm cured of my supposedly aggressive cancers, and I  plan to be there as your biggest booster for mayor of this awesome city.
A little more about Missi before I say how private I am : She and I still use our childhood nicknames which I know you would like as you too tend to have nicknames too. Missy Pyle and I bonded during my HILARIOUS podcast, Professor Blastoff. Please, like us on Facebook,and tell your deputies to do the same. Evita Rush( A weirdo who scares me and it sucks cuz TMU won't go there now that it's real,) can only do so much recruiting before she gets frustrated and violent. The topic was Honesty. I kid you not. Lol I know. Missi was going off on how she was a non stop liar, and had to get a tattoo to remind her of her lying past. The gist was that she overcame her antisocial personality and now feels bad. Stooopid. Feeling bad or guilty is for loooosers.
She then bored me with some bullshit about karma and how it's wrong to lie. She went off on how lies are hard to remember . I plainly said that I don't remember the truth or lies. Evita later told me that this was super adorable. Kyle Dunnigan made some aggressive remark such as " Thank you, your honor." I sensed he was trying to undermine me,and I would have had him deported but he is an American citizen. At least, that's what ICE told me. It is clear that he was insinuating that I lied in court about Alisa,but he is non judgemental about honesty issues so tignation is safe for now. He is too busy trying to get a career boost from that ungrateful kike, Sarah Silverman, and there is no way he will turn on me like Heidi Feigin did. Is it too late for you to jail her? But, this is not about me, and I apologize to the readers of this statement as well as to you Carmen for losing my focus.

Come to think of it , Carmen, you should come to my show, Tig and Friends, and we can tape you telling everyone you have cancer. I chose breast cancer and I recommend you do the same. Men get it too, and you get the Susan Koman people on your side immediately. The West Hollywood Patch can write an article promoting it. Mark Flanagan, the owner of Largo, is as unethical as us, so he'll play along. COUNT ON IT. My doorman, Michael Griffee, will send tickets to city hall ASAP. Or do you want him to send it to Steven Lowe?

Stef Willen is now doing delivery work for me, and don't be scared of her when she delivers the tickets. People who meet her always don't like her, and she likes to falsely accuse, like us, but I told her you are not to be trifled with, so you should be safe. She recently did an explicit sex scene in some movie I got her to get cast in, with one of the many in my circle of dear friends, Tony Barbieri. She played a retarded woman who wears annoying hats. The problem was that she was supposed to play a crazy person named Em(short for Amanda!),and not a retarded person called Em(short for Amanda!) and so the movie tanked, and I had to campaign for her writing career and kiss more of Amy Alkon's big fat ass. Stef threatened to get me on all the perjury if she didn't get some success soon, and I think I have to get Zeke Iddion to start stalking her and have her end up like Officer Jaqueline Montalvo, if she keeps stressing me. I can't find a pic of Stef  but a pic of Hunter Seidman will do.

Gotta run. Trying to get famous and stay out of prison, makes me too busy for even twitter. Adorkable? That's what Evita Rush will say on her tumblr.

talk soon,
Tig Notaro

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