Monday, May 20, 2013

Massive News Story: LAPD's Threat Management Unit makes emergency endorsement for Carmen Trutanich

Flanked by their insanely overzealous ( and dishonest to the core)counsel, Allison Hart, of the Lavely and Singer law firm, hysterical members of the LAPD's Threat Manufacturing unit, called a secret press conference, in San Pedro, this weekend.

Paulley Perrette enterprises supplied the catering services free of charge. The Coyote Shivers minced meat was a hit with Martha Defoe and Detective Viaramontes .The suborned perjury stew sent by Jackie Kashian, was not as popular.

Cancer profiteer, perjurer extraordinaire and Teflon con artist, Tig Notaro, was in attendance with Missi Pyle, the newest victim in her sociopath's vortex. Notaro wore her signature sweater which had a distinctly sulphuric smell.

Hunter Seidman, the only living  low level comedy manager, with chutzpah enough to obstruct justice in a criminal trial, was seen multitasking by the soup bar . He was singlehandedly texting deranged fans,Zeke Iddion of England, and Evita Rush of Vancouver Washington, and emailing Heidi Feigin, while typing out press releases for Notaro's upcoming, " My lies won't catch up with me, bitch. I have Allison, Dunn, Gregozek,  Carmen, and even Cooley, on my side," world tour.

Stef Willen was mysteriously absent.John Gregozek told this blogger, that Willen  is busy trying to tweet so that more than 100 people see Tony Barbieri's indie flick, Em, or read her talent free ramblings on McSweeney's. Both gigs, were courtesy of Tig Notaro BTW. This blogger recently sated some curiosity and saw this film . This beleaguered blogger felt that Willen's graphic sex scene was not necessary for Willen's portrayal of the life of a mentally retarded lady, named Amanda, who is called Em, when her name isn't Emily. But, this is not a movie review site that can both with Amandas beings called Em as opposed to Am. . The blogger, me, can only say this "film" was godawful, and the blogger felt further embarrassed for her ill-fated 3 month association with the deeply disturbed lesbian( and untalented thespian,) Stef Willen.

After, the assorted psychopaths had stuffed their faces, Jeffrey Dunn, head of the TMU ,and well armed  anti free speech activist, spoke . He urged the audience of legal insiders to do what they could to make sure that Carmen Trutanich be re-elected as city attorney, this week. You see, previous endorsements by perjuring sociopath and veteran aspiring celebrity, Tig Notaro, have failed to sabotage Mike Feuer in his race against scummy incumbent, Carmen "Stalin was the dude" Trutanich.

 Apparently, Trutanich's storied history of selective and malicious(and very expensive) prosecutions,and his ability to secure judges such as judges Maria Stratton, Judge Mark Mooney, Samantha Jessner, and Richard Fruin, to subvert justice as they aim to secure their respective rackets, has only impressed Marty Singer and the associated sociopaths throughout the Southland . Votes from Dr. Kaushal Sharma, Dr. Francisco Velarde, Judge Karla Kerlin, Judge Dennis Landin, John Gregozek, DCA Jennifer Waxler, DCA Felise Kalpakian, DCA Martin Boags, DCA Katie Ford, Judge Gerald Rosenberg, Judge Mary Lou Villar De Longoria, Judge Mark Mooney, Retired Rampart judge Jaqueline Connor, Judge Robert Vanderet, Public Defender Bernadette Everman, Dr. Kristin Ochoa, DCA Elizabeth Mitchell, Scott Boxenbaum, Kevin Seccia, Martha Kelly, Jazz Ponce, Val Myers,Mark Flanagan, Reeta Piazza,Cancer comedienne Notaro , were simply not enough manpower to secure Trutanich's power grab  candidacy.
Trutanich's a million dollar bail for billboards policy didn't help either. Billboards are still running loose in L.A and caution is advised.

Apparently, since sociopaths comprise approximately only 24 percent of the population of L.A county, his incumbency requires both terrorism and more endorsements to stomp the competition. To the rescue, Jeffrey Dunn and his crew of well trained terrorists, pretending to be stalking experts in Seven Jeans aka the Threat Management Unit. Jeffrey Dunn promises this kind of treatment to Mike Feuer if he doesn't drop out of the race by tomorrow.

Marty Singer, wearing a pinkie ring, given him by John Travolta, then took the podium. He pounded his meaty fist in the air as he promised his BFF, Carmen Trutanich, that no expense be spared and that Carmen would declare victory on Alisa Spitzberg's birthday.

The evening ended with Bernie Brown( Deputy City Attorney and supervisor to similarly situation psychopath's such as Jennifer Waxler, Martin Boags, and Felise Kalpakian) rousing but rushed  statement to the crowd of cronies, criminals, conspirators, and cover uppers assembled at the Judge Maria Statton is our biggest Bitch Banquet Hall in San Pedro. Bernie Brown's speech was both rude, rousing, and rushed. His perverted cracks about Judge H. Randolph Moore and his rage at the one smart juror in 8CA10541 led Felise "Backfat" Kalpakian to clap so furiously, that she broke her left palm. Rumors that Felise's  shaking back fat caused an earthquake remain unfounded, and likely malicious.
The evening ended with only two arrests-- two buffet attendants . Allison Hart was sure they had looked askance at her grotesque but expected display of gluttony when scooping out all the pasta and putting it in her purse. Allison Hart called Kelly Boyer directly and she and DCA Phyliss Henderson have filed 100 charges against the workers. A plea deal is being negotiated by the Public Pretenders office. The buffet workers are expected to plea to just 1 charge each which will thwart any civil claims they might bring in the future . One is expected to plea on one count of  flagrant display of disgust while on duty. The other will plea to misdemeanor mockery.

This writer was about to go home, to file this Delicious story, when she spotted the Threat Management's tiny and fat leader, wearing a worried expression. She asked him if this worry was due to fear that his serious criminality, and his fear that his use of tax payers money to effectuate his base ambitions for a lucrative position with Gavin Debecker, would be exposed.  He reached for his gun. But, the intrepid blogger persisted, "Surely, the fear of long stretches in prison and public censure would haunt even a dangerous and demented  sychophant such as you,"  Alas, Dunn told her his querulous look was due to gas, and she better leave before he had time to assemble another 18 man army as well as get her charged with trespass and harassment. Your intrepid blogger wisely left the establishment and intends to further explore this breaking story. 
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