Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Tig Notaro's open letter to Reese Witherspoon and other Lavely and Singer celeb clients

Reese,
It's me Tig Notaro. I recently became more known for telling a bunch of strangers that I have cancer. Then, My manager, Hunter Seidman, strategically used it to get us both richer. But, in reality, I lied about the Cancer and other stuff,  cuz that's what I do. Lying makes me smile.  It doesn't matter since they can't get my medical records, or lack of them. Ha ha ha . You and I share the same Lawfirm. I maintain many lawfirms like you because we both have such massive careers. You know how it goes.
  • When Celebrities Fear Sting of Publicity, Whom Do They Call ...

    Dec 9, 2006 ... Read the lawsuit filed by Lavely & Singer on behalf of Reese Witherspoon
    against Star Magazine. (Adobe Acrobat required). The Smoking Gun ...
    online.wsj.com/article/SB116563226975245350.html
      


    Anyway, I put this publicly  cause I am so so so so busy with my engagements and trying to keep my lies straight . I hope to help all Lavely and Singer celebs like us in the future, and so I'm making this public.

    DO NOT ACT OUT IN ANYWHERE BUT L.A AGAIN. Marty Singer will be able to control the courts in L.A  and Jeffrey Dunn's Threat Management Unit AKA the new Pellicano in town, but you got drunk and arrogant in ATLANTA?????!! what are you on drugs? I will spread a rumor that you are on drugs,  if you don't listen up right quick.Spreading rumors costs me nothing and I'm real stingy, so there is nothing stopping me. 
    In case you are not AWARE: Jeffrey Dunn, John Gregozek, Viaramontes, Lopez, Defoe, and James Hoffman DO NOT HAVE JURISDICTION IN ATLANTA. The Atlanta police are dignified and won't sell their souls for major celebrities like us . Fuckers. Allison Hart is working on getting plants in any place us celebrities might go, but it will take time.
    Sorry for the CAPS but my volunteer, Evita Rush, is typing this out for me.She thinks CAPS ARE EFFECTIVE. The city attorney in Atlanta is not controlled by my friend, Carmen Trutanich, so you might get convicted if you didn't plea. The LAPD's Threat Management unit only works to protect the careers and lives of us guys, when in L.A. Just sayin.



    Stay strong and only commit crimes in L.A, from now on, or only have yourself to blame.


    Tig "It" Notaro
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