Sunday, March 23, 2014

Rookie Readers and anyone else, Nick Kroll, Dave Hill, and Tig Notaro are trying to sneak into your poor headspaces

Attention Teenage girls: 

Hi there youngsters, I hope you are OK.  I must inform you that Nick Kroll  has targeted you and is now  harassing you as you try to read this Rookie Magazine in peace. You should have no idea so don't feel bad if you hadn't noticed. You see Nick Kroll prides himself on being as cynical and craven as his father, and he wants to be just as successful. So he has plans to build a big business where deception is the key ingredient in his sad grand schemes. Underhanded sales tactics also play a big part in Nick Kroll's desperate quest for fame. He doesn't need fortune so fame is his desperate obsession. I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about but this goes out to the Universe or abyss or... so you don't really have to get it just now. You are too young to be saddled with such levels of creepiness as Kroll, anyhow.

You see, kids, Kroll uses a thing called "dupes." Not a big word with teens today, but it should be. Anyway, dear teens, Nick Kroll gets shlepper comedians(shlepper also not big with the kids) or wannabes of all kinds to sell his sleazy goods in whatever way he can.  Two of those dupes are a Dave Hill and a Peter Holmes. There are many more. But, in this case Kroll got Hill to slither in to sell you a counterfeit bill of goods.

First, when Nick Kroll via David Hill  tried to sell you his deeply lame comedy when it makes no sense that Rookie magazine would be any audience for his special mix of hideousness and lameness-

Shame on you Dave Hill, for pulling this kind of shtick in such a ridiculous venue. Parents should not let their kids read Rookie if David Hill is advertising for Kroll there. Ugliness and deceit indeed.
“The Oh Hello Show”
In a world full of ugliness, deceit, and irritating internet message-board comments, there remains one eternal bright light that—not unlike scenarios involving all-you-can-eat spaghetti—somehow reminds me that everything is going to be OK, and maybe even kind of great. This light I speak of is “The Oh Hello Show,” an alternate universe created by two of my favorite comedians on the planet, Nick Kroll and John Mulaney, in which they play Gil Faizon and George St. Geegland, two 50-something Upper West Side divorcées with an affinity for early-morning doctor appointments, Alan Alda, and cocaine. On the surface, George and Gil’s world is endlessly mundane. Yet somehow, thanks in part to the magic of ever-present tweed blazers, mid-afternoon cocktails, and Steely Dan on constant repeat, it becomes sublime, addictive even. In short, “The Oh Hello Show” might be my favorite thing in the world ever. In fact, the more I think about it, all-you-can-eat spaghetti seems kind of bullshit in comparison. —Dave Hill

Are you still with me teens!?

Well if you are - I'll solve a small mystery for you.

This is why a cancer scammer with really stupid sounding name - Tig Notaro- showed up and tried to give you advice some time ago.

Ask a Grown Woman: Tig Notaro

“You’re great. We’re all great.” Plus more words to live by from one of our favorite comedians/writers/geniuses.
Tig Notaro has been spreading her comic genius all over the place: in the new movie In a World…; on her latest CD, Live ($5 on iTunes); on her science-y podcast, Professor Blastoff; on tour; at next week’s Bentzen Ball, a comedy festival she curates in Washington, DC; and here on Rookie, answering your questions about making friends, liking yourself, and what to do when the worst happens.

You must have wondered why this dried out looking lesbian was showing up but I bet you figured there must be some good reason. Well, there wasn't kids.  There were bad reasons but no good ones. You were being played by Nick Kroll once more.

You see not only were you played for a marketing scam but for a cancer scam- Notaro never had cancer-

You don't need real cancer to make lots of money off cancer and you don't need talent to get three season of a show when the Kroll name is involved.  Hell, you don't need ratings either when Nick Kroll can pulls some very special strings.
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