Friday, March 28, 2014

Felise Kalpakian and the insane self contained, and completely fraudulent Universe of Kroll Show- Ratings and shameless shillery by Zap to it. com and the gang of hungry freelancers that want Jules B. Kroll to consider them for better assignments ASAP

Due to the majesty of the Internet: I have learned that Felise Kalpakian loves Grapefuit(see way down,) Felise Kalpakian is a rotten egg- who should suck on lemons for eternity, but the reality is that she loves Grapefruit, and now has a side gig as a fitness instructor -- who maliciously prosecutes bogus misdemeanor cases on the side. In short, she's a psychopath who thinks ethics are for losers-- In other words: A  perfect candidate for Kroll Inc/ Corp/ Ltd/ LLC/ etc.

This Grapefruit fan belongs on a decrepit desert island where all she ever will get is moldy Grapefruits and salt water. But, so it goes. OMG, I just read she likes to "prevent pain." This maroon of a vicious monster, Felise Cohen Kalpakian, loves to cause pain. I've seen in firsthand. Total sadist who will lie to judges and lie and lie to get innocent people set up for destruction, if it will advance her career. And, she likes the pain she causes. She smirks as she tries to bury people alive.

Is Pilot Viruet even a person?  Does Flavorwire make sure she's even a genuine individual of any sort before printing her faked Nick Kroll advertisements and trying to pass them off as something organci?

What about David Sims of the A.V club? What's his story if he's a real person? Is he grossed out with himself for having to promote some chinless asshole who can't buy any funny?

These are all insider asides, don't mind me. David Sims and this Viruet character know of what I speak. And, being able to make sense of my Pilot Viruet discussion is not something to aspire to, I'm guessing. Its' too depressing to handle, really- so many hos and so much facade. Overwhelming.

No Mary Cuddahes they,

  My god there are so many more hungry freelancers lining up for this strange assignment. Strange assignment you say? Strange assignment: make Nick Kroll a success. Fudge his ratings even, and no one will figure it out. Pretend he's some B lister for now, and then we'll pretend he's an A-lister so it looks more natural.

He was born to billions and access beyond 99.9 percent of humans on the planet- Nick can only aspire to fame, since he has the rest.  He can get judges and cops and prosecutors to do his bidding. He can get witnesses killed, and no one is the wiser. RIP LAPD officer Jacqueline Montalvo. RIP me too in many ways.

Well, he doesn't have looks or talent, but we can alter that perception in the press.

No one is the wiser. This can go on for years, and suddenly Nick Kroll can achieve the sufficient degree of success that will impress is hard to impress father.

 But, there's a twist, you see- a tiny fisted person, with a mess of a blog(mostly a mess because of stinking Nick Kroll,) and a messed up life(again, Kroll plays a huge part in the mess though of course deranged Dykes Tig Notaro and Stef Willen are very guilty too as are the Kroll offshoots that followed,) is the wiser.

While she(I, me, Oh my) was long in the tooth and ready to take advantage of her last Hurrah- A tig targeted her for some twisted reason. This thing called "tig" was alleging violence and all sort of psycho acts on my part that NEVER OCCURRED. NOT REMOTELY. NOT ONE ALLEGATION WAS TRUE. NOT ONE.

 Then this thing calling itself " Tig," wanted her slander to stick, and she did not want to be  held accountable for it.Nick Kroll told her not to worry. She and Nick surmised that I was not going to be ruined, lying down, and so they had to up the stakes to insane degrees so they could go about their merry way.

Gregozek wasn't even hiding it when he told my mother, " What could I do. You sued her didn't you." When she asked him why he was lying and pressing for charges he long knew were baseless.

 Nick Kroll, and his family specialized in this kind of stuff, and so Notaro had to just relax and watch her lies win and win.

 When real cops like Jannelle Badar and Jaqueline Montalvo told Tig to take a hike, Kroll got into gear and scored her a Gregozek and and Allison Hart(Lavely and Singer), with the blessing of dirty cop supervisor, Jeffrey Dunn. From then on, a non violent antithesis of stalker type- was branded a violent stalker by the likes of John Gregozek. No matter than witnesses were coming forth, left and right to say, " Whaa none of that happened."  there was no ambiguity even. All invented. Harder to believe, but true.

 Gregozek and then Gregozek and Hoffman would keep repeating the life ruining lies in reports and then search warrants, and even whe Katie Ford spoke to witnesses in person and knew it was all a dirty vicious set up - she repeated all these lies in a trial brief .Alissa Sterling did very very little to fix what could have been easily fixed. How she can stand that kind of failure is beyond me.

He counseled her how to win at all costs, and he put in a few phone calls to Marty Singer and Jeffrey Dunn. The fix was in, and my teeth are longer and my last Hurrah had no right to be stopped because  this twisted Nick Kroll thought my life was inconsequential.

Not to mention the lives of my magnificent mother and sister. Not to mention the astounding amount of money he stole from the taxpayer to pursue his sick games. And, Montalvo's murder trumps my tragedy by a million miles. Not to mention the forcible medication threat and the outright terrorism Nick and Tig Notaro launched against me and my family. 18 man raids in riot gear? Jailing for a month with no charges brought and no legal basis for any arrest whatsoever. No legal basis for any order or the seven charges Nick Kroll would manage to try and terrorize me with. Via Kroll Inc. aspirants, Martin Boags and John Gregozek, of course. Google Martin Boags for a gasp. Wow. did that make me have faith in Karma, for a good month.  But, Martin Boags is but one of too too many and I need more shows of Karma ASAP.

Nick Kroll should invite the gang at the City Attorneys office and the Threat Management Unit  to guest star on his very low rated "Kroll Show."

That would cheer the evil as hell Marty Boags up. Felise " Backfat" Kalpakian could use her "Kroll Show," appearance to impress her fitness seeking customers. That lardish maniac, Felise "I have Fibromylgia in my Backfat," Kalpakian actually is trying to scam the public with fitness nowadays. Who the hell wants a low rent malicious prosecutor like her to get them fit????? Even dirty city attorney, Jennifer Waxler, likely tries to get fit elsewhere.

So much more. And, worse of all- they left me with a CRAZY story.  A story that might  be believed in Iran or China, but not yet in America.

And, I had no clue about Kroll as he set in motion his cancers and kickstarter scams with Tig Notaro. And, I have to learn how the masters of security stole my sense of security for life. And, the stupid son want to make funny ha ha comedy sketches and the cancers scammers giggle wildly at how well the fake Tig Notaro kickstarter worked(FYI Nick Kroll funded it and it was done to make it look as if she was in demand, and to gauge public opinion, but all along he planned to make sure that 10k was reached,)

Now that Notaro's cancer has come under some suspicion, he gets her a Stephanie Allyne to play the fake girlfriend -who is witness to mastectomy scars that don't exist.  She soon is rewarded with an IMDB credit for "Kroll Show."

The moral of the story (that hasn't been told due to many deterrents,): Don't make a game out of ruining people lives by lies, perjury,slander and general ruthless evil, Nick Kroll. You know you can get away astounding degrees of sociopathy, due to your father's truly AWESOME influence and power. I can't stand the word awesome, but your father's machinations and Hitleresque thirst for money and power does leave me in shock and awe and horror and it is awe-sum.
Walter White is a toothless puppy( with a twisted ankle,) in comparison to Jules B. Kroll.

Anyway being the (tiny and powerless) thorn in such a Goliathan side has its pleasures.

FYI: Long in the tooth is an old expression that means one is getting too old and last Hurrah means you try one more time before you feel it's too late. So please no accusations of schizophrenia(Nick Kroll's desperate and disgusting new slander) I have never thought my teeth were growing. The only time I saw something that wasn't there was when I was three. I had a very high fever. I saw a rat that wasn't there. I don't remember it, but supposedly I was very cute as I complained about the rat that wasn't there.

This time there are real rats, and they scurry on awful sketch comedy shows, and they are hailed as brave and honest cancer survivors when they never were honest or brave or even had cancer... And one RAT masquerades as a fitness instructor though she is unfit in ever respect. Ah, the banality of Evil-

exhibit 10k
Felise Kalpakian, CPT, NASM

Felise Kalpakian, CPT, NASM
(5 ratings)

  1. Hi friends! I love grapefruit and I especially love all of the amazing things it does for our bodies!! You know what "they say" , it is 80% what you eat and 20% exercise! So, eating right is critical. The food of the day is grapefruit. Read and learn how amazing grapefruit can be for you. Tip: try a little Stevia on top (even flavored Stevia which you can order online) for a great dessert treat.
  2. Recent Posts by Others on Felise Kalpakian, CPT, NASMSee All
    • June Bloomfield Magilnick
       Felise Kalpakian, CPT, NASM or Felise Kalpakian... whoever you are.... this reminded me of us :)
      1 · March 3 at 9:05pm
    • I had no idea. May be just what I need.
      January 9 at 11:15pm
    • Stephen Kalpakian
       Give me a call to get you working out in the way that brings out results you want in a healthy way.
      November 4, 2013 at 8:53pm
    • June Bloomfield Magilnick
      1 · September 8, 2013 at 4:34pm
  3. Tip for the day: I am all about preventing pain!! Working out should not have to mean suffering for days afterwards. Vitamin C can make the difference in regard to delayed onset of muscle soreness. I strongly recommend taking 1,000mg of vit...See More
  4. In October, I passed the NASM course on training women who suffer from Fibromyalgia. I am now certified as a Fibromyalgia Fitness Trainer!

    I also train men and women who want to get in shape for 2014. So give me a call or email me to get started. 818-207-6784 or

    I train my clients out of At One Fitness, North Hollywood.
  5. Hi friends, as some of you may know, for many years I have been working out -- strength training, Pilates and yoga. You may also know that for many years I have struggled with physical pain and weight gain. In the last year, I have made some fantastic progress on all of those fronts. So much so, that I decided to follow in my amazing sister's footsteps (Robin Cohen, owner and operator of At One Fi...See More


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